--------------------------------------------- Geordie was sitting having his tea and was shocked to see in the Shields Gazette an announcement of his death. He called his pal & said have you seen the announcement of my death in the Gazette Jim?" Jim replied, "Yes I saw it. Where are you calling from?" ------------------------------------------------ FOR SALE BY OWNER... Complete set of encyclopedia Britannica. 45 Volumes. Excellent condition. $100 or best offer. Reason for sale: No longer required. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- English guy calls his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he visits he made his spirits disappear. ------------------------------------------------ A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." ----------------------------------------------
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