Basically my anxiety got out of control and was affecting my quality of life and I was having trouble sleeping even after taking melatonin and I refuse to take a stronger sleep aid and didn't want to do psych meds (been there, done that). My gf was recommended CBD oil treats for her aggressive little bastard of a dog and I was surprised how well they worked so that planted the seed so to speak.
Appreciate your concern, definitely keeping an eye on my addict behavior and pacing myself (and I have my gf to call me on my bullshit). Started with the weakest CBD oil, then edibles, then weed (coughed so much at first it turned me off and I didn't try again for a few weeks). Now I've settled into a nice routine. Basically just smoke a bowl at night. Been working pretty well so far but you gotta be careful with the edibles. They've advanced a lot in during the 7 years I was sober and it's easier to get way to stoned, unpleasantly stoned.
Don't want to glorify it and tempt you but it's ok for me so far and limiting the amount I smoke obviously also keeps the cost down. And yeah, I've definitely been enjoying listing to the music I discovered during my sobriety (mainly krautrock an electric Miles Davis). I do what I used to- smoke and listen to an album and basically meditate. No heavy thoughts, no computer or any other distractions. It's a nice reward after a long day at work (and my exercise routine).
Haha it was "ride the bull" and the time I did a whole gram to the face was a separate occasion. But thanks for remembering- believe it or not, I'd actually forgotten about the "ride the bull" incident. Anyway I don't hang out with any of those people anymore and am not even considering drinking or doing coke or any other drugs. But again, appreciate the concern.