Dude, you really need to start smoking weed. You're a total stoner at heart.
"I used a fake name because I didn't want trolls and retards from this board looking me up."
Oh ok, that's fair. Wasn't around when someone from the board called your employer but now that you said that, I remember hearing references to it. That's ####ed up that someone did that (someone from the board called my parents' house back in the day but that's obviously not the same thing).
It's not the fact that you follow Prindle that's flabbergasting- it's that that's ALL you use FB for. Whatever floats your boat though, homie