I still prefer your idea of Dylan Baker getting to be a supervillain.
Alexander Payne could take a dump onto a plate glass suspended over a camera and it would get a 94 on Metacritic, dude. (This isn't a knock on Payne, really--I'd still like to see Election, which I inexplicably never have.)
In response to your USENET comments below, you're right--the Internet NEVER forgets USENET stuff, I remember some dumb comments of my own that I can still probably find. The problem is, who really looks through USENET archives? (More people than I think? God I hope not)