I asked Sidebottom and his kids to do it, and even offered to pay them, but nothing happened. I think you should start by walking up behind me and belting me in the back of the head really hard with an open palm, like you're some angry redneck dad or something. Then bust the back of my leg open with a board with a nail in it, haymaker to the belly, then kick in the groin so hard that I literally go flying through the air in a parabola.
Some of this in inspired by a very angry gay porn website called F*ggot Destruction that I'm sorry to say I did in fact click on at a friend's behest. I will not tell you what is on FD but you'll probably laugh very hard.