The good news is that family relationships are usually strong enough to recover from the type of damage that would leave a friendship or romantic relationship beyond repair. It can take time and a good amount of work on the part of all involved but you'd be surprised what most families can bounce back from. I obviously can't say whether the damage you think you've caused is permanent but it might not be as irreversible as you think it is. I put my family through a lot of shit when I was drinking and it sure looked irreversible for a long time but once I got sober I put in a lot of work towards repairing the damage and I have a great relationship with them today.
Sounds like therapy is definitely a good resource, especially when it comes to working out those conflicting feelings re: what to do next. So yeah, definitely keep going