I do live with my 'rents until I maybe get a small house or a rental of some kind sometime soon. I guess I am also a bit self conscious as well, but I think people care a lot less here than in SF I'm sure. Some women I'm sure really don't care if they like you.
"was surprised by how awkward the messaging was and how cautious the girls were "
Yes definitely noticed the same thing using these apps the past 2 years or so. They are a lot more cautious and also petty about little things. I know there are a lot of creeps out there though so I guess it's understandable.
Sometimes out of nowhere you will meet someone like your ex who will show total interest and you fall right into a great connection. Just may not happen all that often unfortunately. I'd like to see how Bumble works for you if you use it though.