The other night, I was invited out for a girls’ night—just a few drinks, a little gossip, and a promise to my husband: “I’ll be home by midnight, I swear!”
Well, famous last words.
The margaritas were flowing like a fountain of questionable decisions, and before I knew it, 3 a.m. had rudely arrived. I was definitely a little… okay, a lot tipsy. But no worries—I had a plan.
As I tiptoed through the front door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway let out a loud Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!—blaring my lateness like a tattletale.
Panic set in. My husband was a light sleeper, and this was not the time for a marital debate. Thinking quickly, I did the only logical thing: I cuckooed nine more times.
Genius, right? Midnight = 12 cuckoos. Crisis averted. Even in my margarita-fueled state, I had just outsmarted time itself!
The next morning, I casually sipped my coffee, acting like the devoted wife who totally got home at midnight. My husband, reading the paper, glanced up and asked, “What time did you get in last night?”
With the confidence of a world-class poker player, I smiled and said, “Midnight!”
He nodded. No suspicion. No questions. I had pulled it off!
Then, without looking up, he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
My stomach dropped. Oh no.
Trying to sound normal, I asked, “Why?”
He put his coffee down and said, “Well, last night, our cuckoo clock cuckooed three times… then said ‘Oh shit’… cuckooed four more times… cleared its throat… cuckooed another three times… giggled… cuckooed twice more… then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
Busted."