Holy shit! After she raked in all the Grammy awards, now Taylor Swift has won the Super Bowl! Is there anything this woman, this symbol of American female empowerment, cannot do? I stand in awe, face uplifted basking in the glow of her magnificence.

Maybe next week she'll cure cancer, turn water into whisky (the wine trick is so passé) and for an encore cause the seas to give up their dead.

I think she should run for president. She'd be a helluva lot better choice than what we have in these two fossils...