The following line made me spit my tea out and giggle like a loon.

"..I have a pretty typical high-frequency hearing loss from gunfire (and probably racing cars didn't help).."

I understand the why and wherefore of the statement
but for some unfathomable reason I had a vision of you careening down the road in the spit' C/W M16, shouting out of the window " we got em now Bubba!"

Forgive me, warped humour and all that.