The cameras fade in at Rob Van Dam's residence in Las Vegas, Nevada. He's lounging in the hot tub with two hot chicks under each arm. They're all partaking in some extracurricular activity as Bill Alfonso bursts on the scene, blowing his whistle and yelling frantically.
Bill Alfonso: What're you doing, Van Dam!? This is no time to just sit here and chill in the hot tub daddy! They're some fine looking lil' Philly's under you arms there though...
Alfonso starts licking his lips checking out the women as RVD replies.
Rob Van Dam: First of all Fonzie, they're women.. not Philly's. You'd never catch RVD dead dating a baseball player. This is my girlfriend and my girlfriends girlfriend.
RVD gets smooches from both them women. Alfonso blows his whistle and tries to hide his "stiffy" with a Super Crazy towel.
Bill Alfonso: God Damn it, Van Dam! If you're not gonna share then we don't have time for this! We just came off a loss in Ultimate-X for the Cruiser-X Title. Now we've got the "#1 Contender for the World Title" Kenny Omega, this Thursday Night at the very first IWF Thrill Zone!!
RVD lowly chuckles and replies to Alfonso.
Rob Van Dam: Fonzie... chill... I'm Rob... Van... Dam... The Whole... F'n... Show... And I'm ready for any challenge. There's no chance I'm sweating a loss for the little kids title, that thing wouldn't even fit around me anyway. Besides... it was Super Crazy's fault R-V-D lost that match, but that's besides the point-
Alfonso interrupts RVD.
Bill Alfonso: Super Crazy's sorry!
Van Dam continues talking right over him.
Rob Van Dam: -The fact of the matter is Slammiversary is behind us. Kenny Omega is the next obstacle in the course for RVD to claim his rightful spot at the top of the food chain, and become the Insane Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion.
Bill Alfonso: A win over Omega might boost your right in his place for the World Title shot daddy!
Rob Van Dam: Precisely, Fonzie. Rob... Van... Dam... is going to take out Kenny Omega this Thursday Night and turn IWF's Thrill Zone, into the chill zone.
The girls start shaking their breasts back and forth as RVD poses for the camera, and Alfonso blows his whistle like a madman. Alfonso tries touching the women but keeps getting splashed away with hot tub water as the cameras fade to black.
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