Here is a recipe for Trumpernickel bread.

Trumpernickel Turd Replica Bread

If you're looking to create bread loaves that resemble turds, you'll need to focus on shaping the dough into a specific form and achieving the appropriate color. While most bread recipes yield a loaf with a smooth, rounded surface, here's how you can achieve a more irregular shape:

1. Consider the dough:

You'll likely want a stiff dough to help the shaped form hold its shape during baking.
Whole wheat flour can contribute to a darker, more earthy color.

2. Shaping the dough:

Instead of traditional shaping techniques like creating a boule (round) or batard (oval), you can roll or sculpt portions of your dough into rough log shapes.

Pinch, twist, and manipulate the dough to create an irregular texture and varying thickness, mimicking the desired appearance.

Don't be afraid to exaggerate certain features, as the dough will expand during baking and some definition may be lost.

Remember to avoid over- or under-proofing, which can cause the dough to lose shape or crack during baking.

3. Achieving the right color:

Using a whole-wheat dough can provide a natural brown color.

A mixture of paprika and cocoa powder can be lightly sprinkled over the dough before baking to enhance the brown color.

4. Baking:

Baking the bread in a Dutch oven with the lid on for an initial period can help the dough rise properly while maintaining its shape.
Finishing the baking with the lid off will allow the crust to brown and darken, contributing to the desired appearance.

By focusing on these techniques, you can shape and color your bread loaves to resemble turds. Remember to bake them according to your recipe's instructions and adjust based on your desired level of browning.