I am so not myself right now.

Some of the meds are to deal with my OTT responses to waking up after the second surgery and realizing the added limitations I'll have forever. I did not react well.

Then so many deadly complications and now the potential of yet another surgery very soon to deal with a pretty decent atrophy of my vastus medialis muscle of my left thigh that has raised its ugly face and is the cause of me being unable to control my left leg.

Something dramatic happened that caused such a rapid atrophy, which suggests the nerve that fuels it is either severely damaged or the muscle itself has died.

Not fun! So I am really struggling through this and fighting to win whatever I can.

Looming over it all is the high likelihood that I'm going to lose T10, T11, & T12 also meaning that I will have no ability to bend whatsoever. So I am not a happy camper, battling depression and doing my damndest not to just give up this pain-filled battle.

So it's REALLY hard to make me laugh right now. Please don't be offended by that.