It was only allowed at home at times we were there. We began with small amounts of wine during celebrations. They were very excited about that. I wanted to take the clandestine thrill out of it because I drank quite young and didn't have a clue. My Mum didn't drink and my Dad drank a beer here and there and a small glass of table wine with dinner. I was forbidden to. Of course that's exactly what I did. I got into a ton of trouble and hurt multiple times. I came home plastered and fell asleep at the dinner table so drunk I couldn't stand up. I had many ice cold showers fully dressed for that.

What I didn't know was that my maternal grandfather used to beat up my grandmother and my Mum as well as her 8 brothers and sisters. They should have told me that's why it was such a "thing" for them.

In any case, as my kids got older, so did their alcohol. I worried they might do the things I did.
Or worse. So I wanted them to know the score to protect themselves when they were out with friends and when they turned 21. It worked well for them. They drink when they want to. Reasonable amounts. They never got into trouble because of it. They plan to teach their kids in the same way. Slowly and carefully.

I'm sorry to read that family troubles are happening for you. I hope it passes and things get fixed.