considering and planning for a potential exit being necessary so you won't be blindsided or injured if it comes!

You are such a kind, giving, honest soul that I worry about you! You do so much for others, expecting nothing in return, but too often get a kick in the teeth for your trouble. So unfair and so wrong!

I hate the idea that you have to become somewhat jaded and constantly suffer the loss of your optimism and belief in the eventual redemption of those who stomp on you just because they can or because you "squeak" too much about things they surely must know are just plain wrong, but like doing.

I get you doing that with C. She was your wife and your pledge to her is unbreakable no matter the circumstances. But SHE deserves it because she IS redeemable and not basically evil beneath a mask of sincerity like so many fake Christians. She is real and she actually cares about you even though she did some things wrong in the past and continues to tax you occasionally.

But those MAGA church people aren't worth a damn and certainly not for you to worry about what crap they'll do next or suffer from not recognizing their next bullsh!t move beforehand.

At least now you have the lyrics copied and can hand them out if she does the usual and fails you again. If you can stay a step ahead, you'll manage there, but why? When you have to put that much unnecessary effort into trying to stay ahead of hateful people in volunteer position that is already getting your considerable talents for free, you have to ask, is it worth it?

Just a suggestion you can ignore ot think about, but could you be putting up with those crap because it fills a need within where you used to be able to shine in public, giving slices of your very soul to audiences, students, and the public by sharing your extraordinary musical gifts with them? And you miss it?

If so, would researching and joining a different church feed that need and give them something special at the same time? What about a school, public or private, where you offer your talents to help a group of kids who want to be there to shine too by giving a public performance? Or even finding an orchestra where you can perform infrequently or when a member is out sick?

Or better yet, create your own mini-orchestra and perform for pay ar events... or for free if that gets you in the door?