Trump and the Pope Debate the Bible. TBR Sunday Read
Posted by Sia on April 19, 2026, 1:04 pm ADMIN
Trump and the Pope Debate the Bible.
TBR Sunday Read
Andy Borowitz - Apr 19
On Tuesday, JD Vance made headlines by offering this helpful advice to Pope Leo XIV: “I think it’s very, very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.” Undoubtedly, the leader of the world’s 1.42 billion Catholics was grateful for this pro tip from a guy who converted to Catholicism 6 years ago.But if JD thinks the pontiff is a little shaky on the Bible, what theological expert does he trust? Clearly, that higher power is Donald J. Trump, who, in 2016, declared, “Nobody reads the Bible more than me.”Since this is Sunday, I thought it might be a good time to host a debate about the Bible between the head of the Catholic Church and the leader of the world’s largest theocracy. Read the following actual quotes by Pope Leo and Donald Trump, and then answer the poll question: Who understands the Bible better?
------
Pope Leo: “When the light of forgiveness succeeds in filtering through the deepest crevices of the heart, we understand that it is never futile. Even if the other does not accept it, even if it seems to be in vain, forgiveness frees those who give it: It dispels resentment, it restores peace, it returns us to ourselves.”
Trump: “I hate my opponent and I don’t want the best for them.”
Pope Leo: “Even today, there are many settings in which the Christian faith is considered absurd, meant for the weak and unintelligent. Settings where other securities are preferred, like technology, money, success, power or pleasure.”
Trump: “Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
Pope Leo: “The Church, like a mother, accompanies those who are walking. Where the world sees threats, she sees children; where walls are built, she builds bridges.”
Trump: “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.”
Pope Leo: “Peace is built in the heart and from the heart, by eliminating pride and vindictiveness and carefully choosing our words.”
Trump: “When people wrong you, go after those people, because it is a good feeling and because other people will see you doing it. I always get even.”
Pope Leo: “Religious experience is an essential dimension of the human person.”
Trump: “When I go to church and when I drink my little wine and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of forgiveness.”
Pope Leo: “Our neighbors are not first our enemies… but other men and women with whom we can speak.”
Trump: “They’re not just illegal aliens, honestly, they’re monsters. These are savage monsters.”
Pope Leo: “Christ, King of Peace, cries out again from his cross: God is love! Have mercy! Lay down your weapons!”
Trump: “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again.”
Pope Leo: “The world is being ravaged by a handful of tyrants.”
Trump: “Putin, very smart.”
“President Xi is a brilliant man.”
“How smart is Kim Jong Un? Top of the line… really smart.”
Pope Leo: “The Almighty will not be outdone in generosity to those who serve the people most in need: the greater the love for the poor, the greater the reward from God.”
Trump: “It’s not possible for us to take care of day care, Medicaid, Medicare—all these individual things.”
Pope Leo: “There is no shortage of theories attempting to justify the present state of affairs or to explain that economic thinking requires us to wait for invisible market forces to resolve everything.”
Trump: “We had the largest gain in the stock market in history on every single category last week.”
Pope Leo: “Peace is built in the heart and from the heart, by eliminating pride and vindictiveness and carefully choosing our words.”
Trump: “Nobody’s ever been more successful than me.”
Pope Leo: “Blessed are the peacemakers! But woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth.”
Trump: “Remember when I gave Iran ten days to MAKE A DEAL or OPEN UP THE HORMUZ STRAIT. Time is running out - 48 hours before all Hell will reign down on them. Glory be to GOD!”
Pope Leo: “God loves us, God loves you all, and evil will not prevail!”
Trump: “I think God is very proud of the job I’ve done.”
BTW, the current voting tally is Pope Leo 07% and trump 3%. No doubt a joke.
on April 19, 2026, 1:04 pm
