Mar-a-Taco - ICE intercepted and captured a man in southern California, a five-time deported illegal. In 2017 he was deported to Saudi Arabia where the generous Saudis paid a fine of several billion dollars for his information and released him. He returned to the US.

In 2019 he was again caught and deported to Ukraine. President Volodimir Zelenskyy refused to pay his fines and sent him back to America in a box labeled "ts/sci." The box was stored in a Mar-a-Taco bathroom by Ralph Naughty, until a guest searching for something to read while pottying, opened the box and discovered thw fugitive hidden in some of the proprietor's soiled underwear.

After trial in 2025 he was sent to Albania where he was incarcerated on the last remaining Mediterranean wildlife refuge along with a conjugal relative. He returned to the United States, slipping easily into Mar-a-Taco in a crate marked "For the Burger King only!"

In 2026 he and Whopper 'Wit' Witkopft were arrested and deported to Russia. They met with Russian president and humanitarian Vladimmer Putin, where they secured their release by offering a diesel deal made by the felon-in-law.

Earlier this week ICE agents detained him again. According to ID he carried, his name is Jared Kushner and he insisted he worked for President Trump. But the ICE agent wasn't as dumh as some, and knowing Trump and his immediate associates lie virtually all the time, assumed the ID was fake.

President Donald Trump said, "I've generously pardoned the man five times now. What more do you want?"

The CNN reporter asked, "Sir? Will you pardon him again? After all you have six bankruptcies. Why not pardon him again?" Trump replied, "Nobody is better than me. I am the greatest President in the history of our country. Do you expect me to share my Nobel Peace Prize too? How about my Pulitzer, or my Congressional Medal of Honor?'

The reporter said, "Sir, you told Vivek Ramaswapperforme to keep running the ad where the democrat's mother called her a liar and untrustworthy. Her stepfather raped and sexually abused her when she was 12 years old, and the mother defended him. What do you have to say about that?

Trump said, "You're fake news and a very nasty person. I pardoned that man just as I am thinking about pardoning myself" as he looked over and winked at Ivanka, who blushed right through her heavy makeup.

The five time deported Kushner is scheduled for pardon and promotion Wednesday 4 November.