EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING: The Age of Dudleyville

It's late at night in the New York area. You can hear the occasional scream and the frequent passing of cars. But, most importantly you hear the smooth illustrious voice of the Quintessential Stud Muffin Joel Gertner.

Joel Gertner
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, and #####s of all ages, it is I, the Quintessential Stud Muffin Joel Gertner!"

The blackened screen then lightens up to reveal the cheesy smirk plastered across the face of the cocky bowtied-wearing chickenshit Joel Gertner.

Joel Gertner
"And don't you think I came here alone. I couldn't be caught dead in a run-down piece of trash town like New York alone. I have to have brought at least two members of my family out here just to see this. Cause you see? When I first heard of the news, I thought surely there's no way Paul E has the balls to bring back the stomping grounds of my 23-time World Tag Team champions! Yet here we are! But, not only are we here back in New York, back in the Ballroom... we are here once again face to face with a bunch of no-good homosexual emotional heartthrobs."

Gertner laughs before clearing his throat and adjusting his bowtie.

Joel Gertner
"The only thing you two homos "Do For Her" is leave her all the more disappointed, as she sits and waits for the Stud Muffin Joel, "Putting The Big In The Biggest She's Ever Had" Gertner, to Do It TO Her."

Joel Gertner laughs and makes his way off of the screen. Leaving behind a once again darkened screen, but this time the darkness isn't a lack of camera footage it's the brow of the imposing D-Von Dudley.

D-Von Dudley
"Testify! The Age of the Fall? Well, this isn't the times of Revelations and it sure as shit isn't the age of the fall of the Dudley Boys. You may claim to be The Messiah, but Black you are but a false idol. Because if thou were one, you would already know the most important commandment of them all, Thou Shall Not #### with the Dudley Boys! Testify!"

D-Von backs away from the camera only for the lens to be met with the dumbfound expression beneath the eyes of Buh Buh Ray Dudley.

Buh Buh Ray Dudley
"Listen here, boys! I'm real sick and tired of people running around acting like those ECW Tag Team championship title belts don't belong around the waist of my family. The company needs real men, with real gold around their waists. Not a couple of homos running around cosplaying My Chemical Romance. If your "Last Resort" just so happens to be trying to run down my family on your path to the gold. You boys sure are hair deep in shit, if you think either me or my brother D-Von here are gonna fall to one of you twinks. So looky here Black! Here's a dollar, go buy yourself a good ol' hot dog from the concession stand, and take a big ol bump on your ass back to the bingo hall you came from!"

D-Von pipes up cutting Buh Buh Ray off before he can continue.

D-Von Dudley
"And take that little homo with the haircut with you!"

Joel Gertner chimes in from behind the camera as well.

Joel Gertner
"But, you can leave those ladies behind. I'm sure me and my boys here can make a couple of dollars with these cheap ol' #####s."

Buh Buh Ray laughs with his family members before continuing his barrage of words towards the camera.

Buh Buh Ray Dudley
"Jimmy and Tyler let me tell you something, you best turn back to them parts unknown where you came from or find yourself in a similar hole to that of your former stable mates. Because you can say you "Do It For Her" yet the only way you're getting in any tight dirty box is if we lay you down SIX FEET RIGHT HERE IN DUDLEYVILLE!"

D-Von Dudley
"Testify!"

Buh Buh Ray Dudley
"So one more time for them good ol' boys at home, The Dudley Boys are going to make their way down to the ring, and beat a couple of pussies all around the Hammerstein Ballroom. And don't get me and my brothers wrong, we know we're old. But we're just as rugged and mean-looking as Mae Young's cameltoe was when I was face-to-face with it before I slammed her through a table. So if I'm not afraid to beat on old lady, what do you think I'm gonna do to a couple of homos threatening my family's spot at the dinner table? You gotta be tripping like my little brother LSD, if you think I'm not gonna shove my entire size 15 boot up their loose twink asses.

D-Von Dudley
"Testi-- Man what?"

D-Von's face of anticipation quickly turns to that of disappointment. Buh Buh Ray quickly loses his cocky demeanor turning to face his brother.

Buh Buh Ray Dudley
"What? Did I say something wrong?"

D-Von's face scrunches up into a face of disgust.

D-Von Dudley
"I don't wanna think of your pale white ass shoving nothing up nobody's ass."

Buh Buh Ray laughs out of astonishment and the camera feed is quickly shut off as the pair of brothers begin arguing back and forth.