... AND DON'T FORGET SPARTACUS...

Roman Centurion: "Slaves, Identify Spartacus and you will be freed. Where is Spartacus?"

Spartacus and another Slave, pushing forward, simultaneously, with atti-tood, while impersonating Elvis with the curled lip: "I'm Spartacus!"

Another slave, stepping forward: "I'm Spartacus!"

Another slave: "I'm Spartacus!"

Etc., etc. "Yawn".

Spartacus with tears in his eyes, teeth as white as a film star's and far too much makeup: "Shucks, you guys."

Roman Centurion, with menace: "When we find Spartacus, we're going to..." Don, this is too horrible to write down here, so you'll have to imagine the awful things the Romans said they would do to Spartacus if they found him. "...then, when we're finished, and because you didn't identify Spartacus, even though we would have freed you, we will do exactly the same to every single one of you!"

All slaves immediately turn and point too Spartacus: 'HE'S SPARTACUS!!!!!!!

Spartacus, looking straight at the camera, with his best Oliver Hardy impersonation: "Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad, other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble, give a whistle, and this'll help things turn out for the best... And...Always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life..."