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Posted by John K on January 22, 2020, 4:10 pm
Geordie goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, ah wud like te live a long life. Whaat shud ah do?” “I think that is a wise decision,” the doctor replies. “Let’s see, do you smoke?” “Oh, aboot ten a day.” Says Geordie. Doctor says, “Starting NOW, no more smoking. Do you drink?” Geordie says, “Weel doc, not much, just a bit of wine with me meals, and a beer or two every once in a while.” “Starting now,” says the doctor, “you drink only water. No exceptions.” Geordie is a bit upset but agrees. The doctor then asks, “How do you eat?” “Oh, weel, ye knaa, Doc, normal stuff.” Says Geordie. Doctor says, “Starting now you are going on a strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cheese.” Geordie is now really worried, “Doc, is aall this really necessary?” “Do you want to live a long life?” asks the doctor. “Aye ah dee.” Replies Geordie. “Well then it’s absolutely necessary. And don’t even think of breaking the diet. Now then, do you have sex?” Geordie says, “Aye, once a week or so…, only with our lass mind.” Doctor tells Geordie, “As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None.” Geordie is appalled, “Doc. are ye sure ah’m ganna live a longer life this way?” The doctor replies, “I have no idea, but however long you live, I assure you it’s going to seem like an eternity!”
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