True reports from British newspapers....
Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian).
At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening News).
Many people have asked, ‘Why did the British wear red coats in battle?’
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him. Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, “Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you an easier target for us to shoot at?” In his casual, matter- of-fact way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are wounded, the blood won’t show, and the men they are leading won’t panic.
And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers wear brown trousers.