Paddy climbs up to the rafters and hanging upside down yells "I am a Lamp globe, I am a lamp globe". The boss says Pady your mad , go home so he takes off. Murphy starts to pack up his tools and the boss says "and where do you think you are going?" Murphy says "well I can't work in the Dark"..
When I see lovers names carved on a tree I have to wonder why people take a knife on a date!
The Worlds Shortest Fairy tale!
Once upon time a guy asked a girl to marry him but she says NO and the guy played golf, rode his motor bike,went fishing as often as he wanted and drank beer had money in the bank he also left the toilet seat up and past wind when ever he felt like it..THE END
An Irish man struggling to find a parking space calls out Lord if you get me a parking place I will give up drinking and go to mass every Sunday...suddenly the clouds opens and the Sun shines on an empty place. without hesitation he shouts "never mind I found one".
Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asked which is the quickest way to Cork? Paddy says "are you on foot or in the car"? Billy says "in the car" ..Paddy says "well that's the quickest way then".
The doctor tells Paddy he has bad news and worse news. Paddy says "what is the bad news" the doctor replies that he has only 24 hours to live, "so what's the worse news then", the doctor says" I have been trying to contact you since yesterday"..
Why can't you borrow money from a Leprechaun?
Because they a always a little short..