John King visited me at home 2 or 3 years ago to ask how to post images on the board, and then gave me one of his books.Some jokes have been posted since his death, but even if these ones were among them they are still funny. RIP John you kept us all smiling.


Geordie was furious when he found a receipt for a new dress his wife had bought. ‘whatat’s this’ he said. ‘£160 poond for one dress. Whaat made ye spend that much on a frock? ‘ ‘Ah divent knaa she cried. Ah was standing in the shop looking at it. The ah foond meself trying it on. It was like the devil whispering tiv is,’Ye look great in that dress, ye shud buy it. ‘’Weel Geordies says ‘Tha knaas how to deal with him! Just tell him ‘get behind me Satan’. ‘Ah did Geordie says his wife, But then he sez ‘it looks great from the back as weel’
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Even though Geordie emigrated to New Jersey in the USA his family always kept intouch by snail mail. Then one day he got a Telegram.
Sorry Geordie, fatha died this morning .STOP
In the early hours. Funeral Wednesday .STOP
We beat the Makems 3-0 .STOP
Jackie Milburn scored 2. Stop
Haway the lads . STOP.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Geordie and his wife are asleep in bed after he’d been away on the Rigs for 6 weeks. The phone rang at 2am so he listened for a moment and said ‘How shud a knaa?’ That’s aboot 5 miles from here, then hung up. ‘Whee was that’ said the wife. Geordie said ‘Ah divvent knaa it was some fella asking if the coast was clear’