Geordies mate Albert Smith drowned in the river, his mates asked him to go and tell Albert’s wife what had happened but asked him to be as diplomatic as possible. He knocked on their door and when Mrs Smith answered he asked “ Are you widow Smith”?
“No” she replied”Do you want to bet?” He asked.

Geordie and his wife were in the Bank when a man with a gun came in and robbed it. He asked a man at the counter if he had seen his face, the man said “Yes” and the gunman shot him dead, he then turned to Geordie and asked him the same question, Geordie said “No, but the wife did”!