Watch out for the 6a.m. knock on the door Jim.
In this Kafkaesque world your humorous post will result in the local Nick being instructed to come and charge you with something for doing something which they aren't allowed to tell you about.
I fell sorry for the ordinary coppers who are sent out to deal with stuff like gender identification crime etc and so called "non-crime-hate-crime". No wonder they are retiring in droves!
The world has truly gone mad to quote "her indoors" (oh dear I might have just demeaned the status of my dear wife and am now in bovver with the law!)