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If you can't think of a word, just say, “I forgot the English word for it”. That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
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I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
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I'm getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
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I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I missed my exit.
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My goal for this year was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
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I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
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Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
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I may not be that funny, athletic, good-looking, smart, or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
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I love being old, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.
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A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I got up and searched with him.
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I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
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Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
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Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.
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It's weird being the same age as old people.
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When I was a kid, I wanted to be older . . this is not what I expected
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Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
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It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an adult.
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Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember. . . Don't sing!
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I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
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So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
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I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
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You don't realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to stand back up.
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We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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