A Load of Rubbish and Other Stuff...
Posted by John K on April 29, 2020, 10:17 am
Random (useless) facts… |
Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
Men can read smaller print than women, women can hear better.
A cat has32 muscles in each ear.
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo and no one knows why.
Jelly fish do not have brains.
One in every 2.5 marriages ends up in divorce.
The mind boggles…
Edwin Wakeman of Manchester committed suicide in 1927, leaving behind him the following note:
‘I married a widow with a grown daughter. My father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her - thus becoming my son-in-law. My step-daughter became my step-mother because she was my father’s wife. My wife gave birth to a son, who was, of course, my father’s brother-in-law, and also my uncle, for he was the brother of my step-mother. My father’s wife became the mother of a son, who was, of course, my brother, and also my grandchild, for he was the son of my step-daughter. Accordingly, my wife was my grandmother, because she was my step-mother’s mother. I was my wife’s husband and grandchild at the same time. And, as the husband of a person’s grandmother is his grandfather, I am my own grandfather.’
‘I don’t feel whelk,’ whaled the squid, sole-fully.
‘What’s up?’ asked the doctorpus.
‘I’ve got sore mussels and a tummy-hake.’ she told him.
‘Lie down and I’ll egg salmon you.’ Mermaid the doctorpus.
‘Rays your voice,’ said the squid. ‘I’m a bit hard of herring.’
‘Sorry! I didn’t do it on porpoise.’ He replied orc-wardly.
He helped her to oyster self on to his couch.
And asked her to look up so he could sea urchin.
He soon flounder plaice that hurt.
‘This’ll make it eel.’ he said, whiting a prescription.
‘So I won’t have to see the sturgeon?’ She asked.
‘Oh, no,’ he told her. ‘In a couple of dace you’ll feel brill.’
‘Cod bless you.’ she said.
‘That’ll be sick squid,’ replied the doctorpus.
Interesting Local History
Around 9am, on September 28, 1872, a man called Thomas Clark arrived at Washington hall to clean the flues above a boiler house. Clark, who was from Gateshead, brought two boys with him. The youngest was Christopher Drummond, who was just seven years old. Christopher was given a rake and told to climb up a chimney that measured just 12 inches by 12 inches. The little boy slowly edged up the dark, sooty shaft but, as the chimney twisted, it became tighter and tighter until he became trapped. Frantically, he tried to edge backwards only to find, to his horror, he was wedged stuck. He tried to cry out but Clark and the other boy were cleaning other chimney’s, unaware of the trouble Christopher was in. They returned around half an hour later, Clark had expected the boy to have finished his task and he was annoyed that there was no sign of him. The older boy stuck his head up the chimney. He could hear heavy breathing. Clark assumed Christopher was asleep on the job. He shouted up the chimney, before fixing together a long broom and pushing it up the shaft to give the boy a prod. Still there was no movement. After more shouting, Clark ordered the other boy up the chimney. The boy took a length of rope with him. In the dark, he could just feel the boy’s feet. He tied the rope around them and backed down the chimney. Clark and the boy then gave the rope a strong tug. To their horror, the little boy’s lifeless body tumbled out of the chimney. Police were called and a post-mortem found Christopher had suffocated. Clark had broken the law by sending someone so young up a flue and was charged with manslaughter. He appeared before Durham Assizes, where he pleaded not guilty, claiming he had only sent the boy up to remove a stone that was blocking the shaft. Clark was found guilty and jailed for six months. The judge told him: “I trust this will be a warning to you and others to abandon the cruel and barbarous practise of sending young boys into chimney’s.”