Norman Dunn's 'Hebburn and our Neighbours Forum'

Norman Dunn's 'Hebburn and our Neighbours Forum'
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Notes to the milkman left in bottles

Posted by George on March 29, 2021, 15:21:09

I’ve just had a baby please leave another one.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please do not leave any more milk as all they do is drink it.

Milkman. Please close gate after you as the birds peck the tops.

Milkman: Could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel the milk as I have nothing coming in except two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before now but my wife has had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday’s note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window as I need a hand to turn the matress.

Please knock. My TV is bust and I missed last night’s Corrie and wonder if you could tell me what happened.

My daughter would like a milk shake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to do it myself?

Please send me a form for cheap milk as I had a baby two months ago and didn’t know about it until yesterday.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. The dad has tried hard but cannot get any.

My backdoor is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in cupboard and leave the change on the kitchen table in pennies please as we are going to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today I mean tomorrow because I wrote this note yesterday.

Milkman: Please put coal on the boiler fire and let the dog out and any newspapers can be put behind the door. Don’t need any milk today and don’t leave any at number 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles

Posted by Liz Dance on March 29, 2021, 17:12:15, in reply to "Notes to the milkman left in bottles"

Sometimes people don’t read what they have written I do it myself, so easily done but quite funny. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles

Posted by Sheila on March 29, 2021, 17:31:34, in reply to "Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles"

Absolutely brilliant, it is hard to think which one I laughed at at most .

Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles

Posted by Les Gibson on March 29, 2021, 22:01:33, in reply to "Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles"

George,
Laughed out loud at them!!
Thank you.
Take care and stay well

What day is it?

Posted by George on March 29, 2021, 22:33:05, in reply to "Re: Notes to the milkman left in bottles"

As with most people during this very strange time of Covid 19, my wife and I lose track of time and we usually have no idea what day it is. However, if we open the front door and there is a 4 pint bottle of milk on the step, it means it is either Monday or Friday. If the bottle is only a two pint version, then it is definitely Wednesday. No milk on the step means it is Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday. Thank God for the milkman.

Re: What day is it?

Posted by Sandra on March 30, 2021, 13:34:03, in reply to "What day is it?"

Thank you for the laughs.

Re: What day is it? - there's no milk today so it's not Monday, Wednesday or Friday.

Posted by George on March 30, 2021, 18:12:04, in reply to "Re: What day is it?"

Hello Sandra. The brilliant milkman items come via a Canadian friend who wishes to remain a nonny mouse.

Re: What day is it?

Posted by Elizabeth on March 30, 2021, 19:38:04, in reply to "What day is it?"

I am the same. I know which day it is by the number of milk bottles left on the step, or not left as the case may be!

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