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Sunderland Echo Disaster Appeal, enjoy the humour!!
Posted by Tom Barker on 23/10/2024, 21:02:56
(copied from Jarrow matters facebook page)
SUNDERLAND ECHO DISASTER APPEAL
As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale struck Sunderland in the early hours. At the epicentre in Pennywell, victims were seen roaming aroun aimlessly muttering "wheeys keeys are theese". The earthquake decimated the entire area causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several priceless collections of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair. Three historic areas of burnt out cars and some over seven years old were disturbed. The Sunderland Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused, bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of Ladbrokes. One resident, a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching loose women the next day". Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of white star cider into the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings including strawberry vapes, PIP Benefit letters, mobility scooters, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and finest bone china from Mad Harry's. HOW CAN YOU HELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the most sought after items are; * Mobility scooters * Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers) * Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length, * White Socks * Rockport Boots * and anything else from Primark Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz, Super Noodles, Cheesy Chips and Greggs cheese and onion pasty for the babies. Special brew or Thunderbird would also be gratefully received. Every little helps. Remember: * 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form * £2.00 buys chips with Chees and blue Panda pop for a family of nine * £8.50 buys 20 L&B and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a grieving ten year old Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation is unfair on the residents of Hendon and Southwick. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP
Re: Sunderland Echo Disaster Appeal, enjoy the humour!!
Rules! No Party Politics,swearing,derogatory remarks or we will delete. Anyone sharing our content on Face Book must credit 'Hebburn and our Neighbours'.
