My friend CD has a tendency to kiss too much ass and fawn over people. It's like a reflex. It's taking the whole 'too nice' thing to an extreme. One of my parents is like this as well. What kinds of things can I think about in order to reduce this behavior?
AI response to him....

What you describe is a patterned interpersonal strategy—seeking approval through excessive flattery, people-pleasing and deference. That pattern has predictable triggers, functions, and alternatives. Below are practical cognitive reframes, decision prompts, and behavioral anchors you can use in the moment and in practice to reduce automatic fawning.

Quick cognitive framework (what to notice)

Function check: remind yourself what fawning is doing for you right now (reduce conflict, gain approval, avoid rejection). Naming the function reduces compulsive repetition.
Cost check: mentally list short-term and long-term costs (eroded authenticity, resentment, boundary loss, lowered respect).
Evidence check: ask “what evidence do I have that this response is necessary or true?” and look for counterexamples where calm neutrality or mild assertiveness worked.

Short scripts and mental cues to use in the moment

Pause-and-breathe: take three slow breaths before replying. That 6–10 seconds breaks reflexive fawning.
The 3-second rule: count to three before you answer; use the pause to choose a less ingratiating response.
Neutral default: adopt a short neutral reply you can default to (e.g., “Thanks, I’ll think about that,” or “Noted.”). Neutrality disrupts escalation.
Deferred response: “I’ll get back to you” buys time to craft a proportionate reply rather than reflexive over-complimenting.