The Peacemaker-speaking of ridiculous, here we've got Clooney and Kidman trying to stop a terrorist from blowing up Manhattan amid a bunch of wild action scenes. I don't know who the guy playing the top villain is, but he's good. The movie also wisely avoids having the leads falls in love, so there's that.
Colors-proto-Boyz 'n the Hood directed by Dennis Hopper that unfortunately focuses more on the relationship between the veteran cop (Duvall) and his rookie partner (Penn) than it does on gang culture itself; we don't really delve too deeply into the whys here. Don Cheadle doesn't get many lines as one of the gang leaders, but there's a mugging Damon Wayans in here too.
Mississippi Burning-meh, the FBI saves the day, almost every local white person is really dumb on top of being a racist and the black people are church-going and incredibly passive until their houses literally start being burned down. What's good here is the acting, most notably by Frances McDormand, who's the moral center.
Road to Perdition-Hanks, Newman, Craig and Jude Law as Depression-era gangsters, but with almost all of the focus on the relationship between Hanks and his son as they're on the run. The ending is foreshadowed thanks to the opening narration, so not many surprises, but the "Shootist" esque angle is decent. Hard to rate over all since a lot of it works, but it's ultimately kinda hollow.
Nobody's Fool-this is a better Paul Newman movie about an aged underachiever in a snowy NE suburb trying to make good at the end by being a good person to his grandson and landlord Jessica Tandy. Understated performances by Bruce Willis and Melanie Griffith in here too, plus an easily angered cop played by PSH.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure-feel like we've talked about this enough, but I think it holds up as a relatively funny (the "Dust in the Wind" bit rules in paritcular), good-hearted tale that actually uses time travel in intriguing ways for once. It probably doesn't take full advantage of having all the historic figures in the present time (Joan of Arc leads an aerobics class?), though.
Napoleon Dynamite-it's good, but none of the nerds in my high school went as far as to put tater tots in their pants' pockets. They probably could've made him more likable? The after-credits scene is completely unncessary, btw.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective-really only notable for Jim Carrey doing Jim Carrey things, as the plot and other characters are hella weak, and there's some really weird very un-PC plotpoints that wouldn't fly today and are honestly just kinda weird.
Tango & Cash-underwhelming buddy cop fare with Stallone and Russell and a bad Jack Pallance as the bad guy; there's pretty much no reason to bother with this.
Breakdown-this is a better Russell movie with a better bad guy (plus Jack Noseworthy; remember him?) who steals his wife out in the desert before suffering an epic fate in a wild finale.
Nighthawks-this is a better Stallone movie: another buddy cop one, although with a rather underused Billy Dee Williams as his partner. Rutger Hauer rules as the terrorist who comes to NYC and starts bombing locales willy-nilly, and there's a good subway chase in here amid all the grittiness you'd expect.
Killing Them Softly-works well as a commentary on greedy American values, but is pretty bad as an actual movie. Pitt is a hitman avenging a robbed card-game hosted by Liotta, but the most memorable turn here is by an almost-dead Gandolfini, who plays an incredibly defeated, nearly extinct hitman himself who goes on and on about gross sex stuff.
Leviathan-very similar to DeepStar Six, but with more of a Thing-ripoff vibe and a better cast with Weller, Ernie Hudson and a pervy Daniel Stern being among the highlights, but too derivative overall to be memorable.
Kung Fu Hustle-whoever the target audience is for this, it doesn't include me.
Don't Breathe-implausible robbery movie where a trio of incredibly inept thieves run into the most dangerous blind man ever. Ocassionally tense, but too often dumb to take seriously.
Polaroid-low-level spooker about a haunted camera, so don't let anyone take your picture with it or else it's your ass.
X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes-lol Ray Milland as a (slightly) deranged scientist who wants to see everything, and does! Funny (but obviously tame) dance party scene is a highlight, but I like the cool effect they use to show his x-ray viewpoint, and the ending is very good. Worth seeing once.
The Beast with Five Fingers-groovy supernatural chiller with a typically unhinged Peter Lorre performance carrying it. There's a possessed hand creepily playing the piano and strangling occupants of an old-timey castle, but it's possible it's all just in Lorre's head. Look for the audience-winking cop monologue at the end that completely changes the tone of the movie for no reason!
The Giant Claw-MST3K-level creature fare featuring a notoriously hideous giant alien bird monster who absolutely wrecks shit before he's outsmarted by technology.
Jarhead-war movie without any war, but you do get lots of alpha male soldier antics after the ripoff Full Metal Jacket first thirty minutes. This didn't leave much of an impression except that it's cool to see war movies that play "Soldiers' Things" during montages at the end.
Yesterday-in a world where The Beatles don't exist a middling songwriter takes full advantage by recording tons of their songs and getting famous...at the cost of his soul. It doesn't do as much with the concept as you'd like and ultimately devolves into a simple love story, though. There is a scene in here with a 78 year old John Lennon that is among the most eerily weird I've seen in a mainstream movie.
Cape Fear (both)-generally agree with Joe's takes from last week, so just read those. I do think the recycled score in the '91 version doesn't work at all and is kinda silly. Overall, the original is better, but still not great. In the original, Mitchum is hellbent on revenge because Peck stopped his attempted raping of a girl and testified against him, but in the remake Nolte was De Niro's lawyer and just hid evidence that would've helped him, which is a weird change. Either way, the Simpsons episode is better than both.
Interiors-Woody Allen goes alll Bergman on our asses with this tale of three sisters dealing with an increasingly crazy mother and a getting-remarried father. Thankfully things pick up when his new wife enters the picture, because she's actually not a dull intellectual, but I probably won't watch this again.
Stardust Memories-this I certainly will! Very good/borderline great take on "8 1/2" with more ideas than in any movie I've seen in a while, plus it's often very funny. This wasn't on my radar at all, but unless I'm terribly overrating it it should be on yours.