I don't know where i'm going from here, i really liked where i was working, I was basically running that place all by myself by the end. All the clients knew my name, and I had become good friends with my only co-worker. it's not hard for me to be a short-term acquaintance to many people, but making any sort of greater connection beyond that is extremely difficult for me, so in a sense i feel like i've lost a friend along with a whole little community too.
spent last week just moping around and feeling bad for myself, then all this week i've been really sick and feeling like ass from that.
Back in september I was finally was able to go on the holiday i'd been trying to go on since before covid started, where I went to Denver saw phish, roger waters, and other stuff. it was great, and I really needed it since the last time I'd travelled anywhere was 2018. It helped to give me a lot of lessons as to my own ability to be independent. But I came back with a nearly maxed out credit card and barely had any chance to make a dent in paying any of it off before losing my job.
I have about 400$ in my bank account, mostly spending my days doing nothing in order to spend as little money as possible, don't know how i'm going to make rent next month, maybe selling my vinyl could be a back-up plan... dont even know if that would get me enough. i'll get employment insurance but it's barely a pittance. i feel like i'm inevitably going to have to settle for some more dead-end retail garbage even though what I need more than anything is a career.
a friend of mine trying to comfort me said the other day "hey but isn't it kind of nice? every once in a while, to get a break from things?" and I'm like "NO!! easy for you to say, you have a f*cking savings account." or my mom will tell me to pray about it and let god into my heart or whatever. i have much less of an issue with the religious perspective than i used to, but again not really helping....
Anyway, I hope y'all have been doing OK over here. Sorry to drop in just to post this woe-in-me-shit. Don't really know where else I can go to b*tch about this sort of thing... sure as hell not twitter or facebook.
PS: King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard are the best rock band in the world right now.