Is there any specific reason (aside from general social anxiety) why you canít hit up your former coworker to hang out as friends?
Iím basically just suggesting reframing the situation if possible and trying to focus on the positive aspects of the experience- namely that you enjoyed the job while it lasted and the connection you made with your coworker.
Yes, easy for me to say but Iíve been where you are- constantly worrying about money, not sure whether you can pay your rent. Itís a shitty place to be but itís not uncommon- I wish I had better advice though. Just try to hang in there and remain open to any opportunities that might be a stepping stone to where you eventually wanna be- even if that means temporarily taking a ďretail garbageĒ gig to stay afloat.