the awkward bits with my co-worker are that a) I dont want to lead her on that i want a relationship with her since while i do like her as a friend i'm not attracted to her in that way. and b) she wasnt laid off, the new owners hired her and not me because I need full time hours, whereas she was ok with part time.
But I will be hanging out with her at least a bit in the future cus we're going to see a small concert in a couple weeks since she got a ticket for her brother and he couldnt go.
I have had some good reflection where I appreciated the positive aspects. really, if there weren't so many positive aspects I wouldn't be so bummed out. I don't know how i would have made it through the pandemic without that place as a refuge. It was really the right place at the right time for where I was at, and I have a lot of gratitude for that. there's probably a greater sense of loss because of that than there would be compared to jobs i didnt actually care about.
I'm chugging away at some cover letter stuff right now so i cant say im doing nothing. just gotta stay focused on plugging away at accomplishing job-search related stuff everyday. focus has always been one of my weakest traits though, i'm know i'm on the adhd/ocd/whatever spectrum to some extent and that's been a frequent achilles heel for me.
NP: Brian Eno - Mixing Colours. This is one of Eno's best albums. Been on a huge ambient kick the last few months. Started going to sleep every night with ambient music playing from my phone speaker next to my bed. I've worked my way through big portions of the Eno's discography, Harold Budd, William Basinski, Stars of the Lid, and some other random stuff that's popped up. (Give me more ambient reccs!)