It's not just the Thomas Paine quote (which he obviously never said, at least in that form): throughout there are little right-wing dog whistles like, "preserve your freedom to save!" and whatnot throughout the whole commercial. It's funny as shit, and also funny if you realize their other commercials feature Ice-T, Vivica Fox, and Ric Flair. Ok, maybe not the Ric Flair one.
No wheat-crust pizza at Wheat State Pizza? Shit's ####ed up. I have a serious string cheese problem. When you just buy one at 7-11 when grabbing cigarettes it's no big deal, but once you get that 12-count package, good luck. Wow, I've spent nothing today.
I don't like anything with cola (non-alcoholic) except for cherry and vanilla. I don't drink cola really much at all, actually -- I did like the nitro vanilla Pepsi -- preferring, with US-made soda, ginger ale and cream soda, though really Hawaiian Punch and Lipton Brisk fruit punch are my jams.