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According to research of children's past life memories by Prof. Ian Stevenson and Jim Tucker, it's both. Some souls are forced back to Earth, and some go willingly and can choose their own parents. So far, they didn't find what exactly causes ability or inability to choose your next life.

Edit: I too, have memories from early age of choosing parents before birth. They were walking down the street, I was in the tree and I jumped down to my mum, because I liked her and "I wanted to be girl again". That's how I described it as a 3 years old to my granny, who wrote it down and passed it down to me later on.

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[–]jLionhart 5 points 11 days ago

Most of us do not have that choice. You know why? Because most of us would choose not to reincarnate at all if given the choice like reincarnating into a family where there is trauma waiting for them. Allowing that choice before Soul has earned the right and is ready would put us outside the system of reincarnation and karma designed to develop Soul's spiritual maturity.

For most of us, an Administrator of Karma, not the individual, is responsible for selecting the family, circumstances, place and time, through which Soul enters the physical world. Like a guardian who administers a trust on behalf of an infant, an Administrator of Karma arranges for Soul to join a family which offers the best prospect for spiritual unfoldment. In making the selection, an Administrator of Karma is under no obligation to consider the feelings or imagined rights of the person involved in rebirth. Placement is a very simple matter: The law of karma, which governs the placement, is just as much a law as the law of gravity. It must be obeyed.

So karma determines your destiny when you're born into this life. But after you're born, free will gives you the opportunity to change that destiny.

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[–]rick_potvin66 1 point 2 minutes ago

That sounds about right, consistent with Edward W. Russell in his "Design for Destiny", 1972 and "Prospects of Eternity", 1985. The law of Karma is likely real. The soul which is us is subjected to courses in the "University of Earth" as Russell puts it, although it's not neccessarily Earth where we get our "experience". Russell also talks about "vacation" between incarnations that sounds interesting too, and perfectly consistent the the afterlife. Very good question was raised here, I'll track this thread for future comments.

The funny thing I see at the moment at 66 is that there are tons of financial advisors helping people with their "retirement planning", every time I turn on the radio or tv and yet there is a dearth of people advising us on "afterlife" planning in the sense of reincarnation. Of course there are the mainstream religions but there are other issues there. I had ChatGPT write a possible ad in the style of a retirement ad, except it's for afterlife...

quote Are you about to retire and wondering what's next in your life after this grand finale? Don't worry, we've got you covered! Introducing our new service, "Reincarnation 101: A Retiree's Guide to the Afterlife." Join us for a laugh and a half as we explore the world beyond with our team of expert ghost whisperers and spiritual guides. Our package includes a personalized past life regression session, a tour of the pearly gates, and a meet-and-greet with your future spiritually wiser person. Our guarantee: you'll come back from the dead feeling like a brand new person! Don't miss out on this chance to retire in style and come back as something even better. Enroll in "Reincarnation 101" today! unquote

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From the last few times I remember after dying I am forced. Imma say you have an option though probably. But me? I don't think I have one.