I am realizing with sadness that my life will never be the same again. Nearly dying 3 times during major surgery has taken a far deeper toll than I could ever imagine.

I understand the idea of getting through the next 10 minutes. Right now that's as long as I can stand. I am looking at a new walker (mine is way too short) but feel like that purchase represents a finality - surrender.

I have to ask for rides everyhere unless I want to spend $20-30 just even to go to the market around the corner. This is killing the spirit of a Type-A personality big time.

I admire your "keep on keepin' on" as best you can.