You're quite right,Sarge, It does seem to be a race to be first out of the block with "glad" tidings" and as you say it seems to be more about the "tidings" giver than poor old Bert who has gone to join the choir invisible.

I have noticed, also, a tendency to shower a somewhat unmerited praise upon the poor sod who has turned his/her toes up , in the sense of "what a great guy/gal, so kind and giving..." etc when in reality I have found (at least in my own circle ) that in life the person in question was usually a complete prick, despised by all but now somehow just short of being beatified to near saint hood.

I think once you get to the point of more days behind than in front you have to acquire a sense of acceptance of the situation which, as you point out, the more delicate flowers of the field struggle to comprehend. Having to come to terms with either terminal illness or a life threatening situation does seem to be in the purview of those of our vintage or older, be it in such a manner as say yourself having experienced combat or in my case seeing everyone in my social circle of friends pass on. One becomes inured to such things and see no need to be the first in line to feign ones self with faux humbleness whilst synchronously extolling untruths re the recently departed.

Personally I find a simple nod and a raised glass in the privacy of my own solitude is sufficient, then move on taking each day one at a time.