Somebody said the felon is like an invertebrate. He responded, "that's a dirty lie. I eats veggies on my burgers."

You know that's the real reason for the fake gold decor and doo dads all over the White House walls? To hide burger splatters.

You... we should see under the Oval Office Presidential Chair. Hundreds of dried, wiped boogers. Watch him sit there and pick his nose. Hand drops down subtly, then reappears on the desk.