I was going to tell a joke about the layoffs, but sadly none of them work.

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Did you hear about the man that circumcised elephants? The pay wasn't great, but he always got big tips.

You don't need a parachute to go sky-diving. You need one to go sky-diving twice.

It's not easy being a mom. Otherwise, dads would do it.it.

The guy who stole my diary went missing. My thoughts are with his family.

I bought a new pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance... So I pushed her over.

What do you call the security guards for Samsung? Guardians of the galaxy.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed.

Justice is a dish best served frozen. Otherwise, it's just water.