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How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?

Posted by Ken C on April 9, 2025, 10:14 am

I'm 61. I have lived over half my life. I'm closer to the end than to the beginning. I like being alive and I don't want to die. I feel like I have not accomplished much in my life. I feel depressed whenever I think about death.

I'm not religious and I don't believe in heaven. That makes it even more depressing.

It seems like religious beliefs and the idea of "going to heaven" makes it easier to deal with death.

How do you feel about the idea that your life will end?

How do you deal with it?

I've lived a life that's full - I did it my way - Frank Sinatra

Posted by Ken C on June 17, 2025, 2:46 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

[Verse 1]
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

[Verse 2]
Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

[Chorus]
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all, and I stood tall
And did it my way
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[Verse 3]
I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me
I did it my way

[Chorus]
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

[Outro]
Yes, it was my way

Ha!

Posted by observer on June 19, 2025, 12:11 pm, in reply to "I've lived a life that's full - I did it my way - Frank Sinatra "

I would offer that his way Do Be Do Be Do, is exactly the opposite of life lived the Christian way: Be Do Be Do Be!

Not being an atheist, but wanting to say something on the matter

Posted by observer on May 31, 2025, 2:42 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

I think a lot of people aren’t all that familiar with the Biblical view of life after death. As Christians we have fellowship and communication, through prayer and reading/ knowing the Bible, with God. Our hope (and Christian hope differs from the more common understanding) is that we will continue that relationship
in a sinless painless realm in the presence of God and all those inhabiting His Kingdom. All of this is based on what the Bible reaches and we believe to be true. It’s not about going somewhere else. It’s about spending our afterlife with God in a wonderful place vs the alternative.

Interesting, thanks for the reply.

Posted by Ken C on June 17, 2025, 2:38 pm, in reply to "Not being an atheist, but wanting to say something on the matter"

Death is inevitable. The world will spin on once I'm gone.

Posted by Sprout on May 30, 2025, 2:14 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

I'm not so self focused that I can't see the world without me in it. I am not the main character in the big story. Just a small footnote.

Humility and the cockroach.

Posted by GOG on June 2, 2025, 9:47 am, in reply to "Death is inevitable. The world will spin on once I'm gone."

It’s been a long day’s night. I’ve had my day in the sun. It’s a long day’s night.

My husband always said.. Def of life

Posted by trish on May 31, 2025, 3:12 pm, in reply to "Death is inevitable. The world will spin on once I'm gone."

You're not dead yet

My Reply

Posted by Rob Kettenburg on April 29, 2025, 3:03 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

http://robkettenburg.com/pastlife1.mp3

Rob Kettenburg

Terminally ill Stanford professor teaches class about dying from cancer - Video

Posted by Ken C on April 23, 2025, 8:13 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

We are all going to die eventually. Some people discover they will die soon, and some die suddenly.

How Many Have Seen or Been Around A Dying Person

Posted by Deanna on April 24, 2025, 12:23 pm, in reply to "Terminally ill Stanford professor teaches class about dying from cancer - Video"

and witnessed a persons, or several deaths, I am wondering.....in this group???

PS...I know Scott has seen it too.....but, most of you have not been in the medical field or lived in a small town...where they think you are a doctor and you aren't....

Give me liberty or give me euthanasia:-)

Posted by GOG on May 31, 2025, 10:49 am, in reply to "How Many Have Seen or Been Around A Dying Person"

Worked in Nursing Home

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 24, 2025, 3:49 pm, in reply to "How Many Have Seen or Been Around A Dying Person"

One thing that bothered me was how few had visitors.

That's....

Posted by mark on May 31, 2025, 6:10 pm, in reply to "Worked in Nursing Home"

..our culture unfortunately. We are hyper individualistic. We laud it as a virtue and admire it in others.

Re: That's....

Posted by Christopher Bkackwell on June 1, 2025, 11:42 am, in reply to "That's...."

Mark, being individualistic does not require that we be uncaring. Taking care of old people has its unpleasant aspect, but it's not because anyone wants it that way. People just get more helpless over time. When I worked there, I simply asked how I would want to be treated if it was me like that.

when people become chronically ill I have noticed that

Posted by Trish on May 28, 2025, 1:34 pm, in reply to "Worked in Nursing Home"

friends seem to slowly drop away. We as a society are not taught coping mechanisms for these situations. We don't know what to say and often see the person as their illness, not an individual

That Is Sad.....

Posted by Deanna on April 24, 2025, 8:00 pm, in reply to "Worked in Nursing Home"

When one passes and they have no family....I am sure you were and are a very caring person and were good to them...at least they had that!!

I guess, I have always been a believer.....in a higher power than i.... in other words God, and that Jesus was sent to help make one understand the power of God amongst humans....and that when I pass I will go to a better place to be with those like me, and I will leave it at that....

As vast as the universe is....it leaves one truly wondering WHO created this vast, vast universe we live in...with many planets in it....So, I have no question it was God, who created the univers......

And then he sent his Son to make us believers in Him....

I don't believe one HAS to belong to a church to be a believer...but, it does help to belong to a church and meet many people like you.... One can attend many churches looking for the one that you feel comfortable with and in....

I grew up not attending any funerals or having anyone close to me pass away (3 out of 4 of my grandparents died before I was born)..I went into nurses training in a hospital in Los Angeles...and as a student nurse I was to do a "care of the dead." I did not know what it entailed.... I had a patient that I cared for that was due for surgery, that I adored...she was a wonderful happy individual. I was assigned to her the morning after her surgery and when I went in at 7AM to see how she was doing and take her blood pressure....she was semi comatose and I could not get a blood pressure reading...I ran back to the nurses station and the head nurse sent me down to get blood for a blood transfusion...I ran down and I ran back, as fast as I could...and saw a doctor frantically trying to find an vein to give her blood....but eventually I saw her taking her last breaths.... (To me that was her soul escaping her body)..... Later, in the day, they told me I was to do "care of the dead"....and I truly did not know how I would react when I entered the room where her body was, by myself....I slowly went in and saw her body and when I went over to touch her body and roll it over to start doing the care of the dead....I realized she was no longer with us....but I felt a presence of her in the room with me...actually I felt her looking down upon me..... Soooo I truly believe there is a Heaven..... And there is a God...Thank You, Jesus!!

Re: That Is Sad.....

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 26, 2025, 9:40 am, in reply to "That Is Sad....."

Deanna,
I did a death watch on one my patients after he died. What bothered me abut it was how long it took for the doctor to come by and how many hours before they let his wife know that he had died.

Re: That Is Sad.....

Posted by Deanna on April 26, 2025, 3:21 pm, in reply to "Re: That Is Sad....."

Ohhhh that would be so difficult to do!! I know, since this woman was "my patient" that day...I was afraid I would have to tell her husband and son, she had passed, when they finally arrived...but, fortunately they told me I didn't ....!! I was only 17/18 years old when I was in training...I learned a lot, at that time of my life!

Re: Ironicaly that was one of the better ones.

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 26, 2025, 7:38 pm, in reply to "Re: That Is Sad....."

Deanna,

The one I was in as a patient was the other extreme, rolling lanolin floors, painted concrete walls on a barren lot in a warehouse district, next to the freeway. The one thing that I needed, a physical therapist, it did not have, so I had to invent my own, ever-increasing distance walking, eventually getting to two and a half miles back and forth.

Spent some extra time thinking about this.

Posted by Mugwump on April 13, 2025, 9:15 am, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

It seems to me that the one thing that may be impossible to grasp is the concept of nothingness. No thought. No feeling. No memory. No anything.
Is it not better (easier) to shape a construct that takes the problem into account and weaves a tale offering a continuation of a sort, something one is able to grasp, however far-fetched it may seem? And if the creation becomes a bit unwieldy or contradictory, we can add to the rules over centuries in an attempt to smooth out the edges.

The idea of "going to heaven" seems comforting.

Posted by Ken C on April 23, 2025, 8:10 pm, in reply to "Spent some extra time thinking about this."

Maybe I would be happier if I was religious, but I can't change my beliefs like that.

John...

Posted by mark on April 29, 2025, 12:59 am, in reply to "The idea of "going to heaven" seems comforting. "

...11:25.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

Marsha!!

Posted by Mugwump on April 29, 2025, 12:52 pm, in reply to "John..."

John, Marsha.

you changed them to what you are now...so what's the difference?

Posted by scott on April 24, 2025, 8:28 am, in reply to "The idea of "going to heaven" seems comforting. "

If the actual end result you see is better, heaven over dirt...peace over anxiety, joy over sadness.. and most of all forgiveness of sin over condemnation...?

Kind of a no brainer Ken.. and indeed a spiritual matter.. not some mind games. The guys on the cross next to Jesus saw the truth.. one saw Jesus as blameless and still hung out to die.. but had the eyes, heart, and mind to see it.. while the other...

well.. read it for yourself... you make your own choices...

Luke 23:39-43
King James Version

39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.

40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.

While you're alive it's never too late.

Yeah, that can be a tough one sometimes.

Posted by 7:77 on April 11, 2025, 2:29 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

Among the many valuable lessons my parents taught me was "don't obsess over things that are out of your control." But that's easier said than done, and there are times when I'm frustrated by my own inevitable mortality. It would be less emotionally stressful if I believed in some sort of afterlife, but as has been discussed at length here many times, you can't force (genuine) belief.

Probably my biggest coping mechanism for this matter is taking some degree of pride in my accomplishments (for all that they probably carry no real weight beyond that satisfaction). If I can look back on my life and honestly believe it was well-lived, even though I surely could have done so much more, that will be enough.

"The Well-Lived Life: " is a book title.

Posted by Ken C on April 24, 2025, 11:14 am, in reply to "Yeah, that can be a tough one sometimes."

https://www.amazon.com/Well-Lived-Life-102-Year-Old-Doctors-Happiness/dp/1668014483/

I don't have time read the whole book, but this part is good advice:

On these pages, Dr. McGarey shares her six actionable secrets to enjoying lives that are long, happy, and purpose-driven:

-Spend your energy wildly: How to embrace your life fully and feel motivated every day.
-All life needs to move: How to move—spiritually, mentally, and physically—to help let go of trauma and other roadblocks.
-You are here for a reason: How to find the everyday “juice” that helps you stay oriented in your life’s purpose.
-You are never alone: How to build a community that’s meaningful to you.
-Everything is your teacher: Discover the deep learnings that come from pain and setbacks.
-Love is the most powerful medicine: Learn to love yourself—and others—into healing.

I'm frustrated by my own inevitable mortality. I am too. Nothing can be done about mortality.

Posted by DFM on April 11, 2025, 3:33 pm, in reply to "Yeah, that can be a tough one sometimes."

Death is GUARANTEED by Thermodynamics, the most reliable and widely Science ever devised. How is ANYBODY going to overrule the Laws of Nature.

Exactly. And it’s merely being unborn.

Posted by GOG on May 31, 2025, 10:55 am, in reply to "I'm frustrated by my own inevitable mortality. I am too. Nothing can be done about mortality."

Granted how one exits is the issue imho. Otherwise no biggy. Two parts to the equation (unless you know of others)…..emotional and intellectual.

Yep: "Nature bats last."

Posted by 7:77 on April 11, 2025, 3:38 pm, in reply to "I'm frustrated by my own inevitable mortality. I am too. Nothing can be done about mortality."

God bats first and last. Opinions may vary.

Posted by GOG on May 31, 2025, 10:56 am, in reply to "Yep: "Nature bats last.""

Oh it’s an easy “dilemma”. I just recall nothing before being conceived.

Posted by GOG on April 10, 2025, 7:40 am, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

The assumption follows that one returns to that state. One will not recall ever being alive. Of course it’s emotional for most people to contemplate being dead. But using one’s intellect it’s obvious there is nothing by which to fear nothing, except fear itself. Relax. Fear a miserable death. Hopefully we will all peacefully fade away. Besides, old age prepares one psychologically for the passing into oblivion. The real shame is the death of young persons. They don’t have the life. The bigger shame is abortion. Regarding faith, I don’t get into wondering about Christian salvation. The Bible is the word of God imo, and I leave it at that. Fear of death is recruitment pressure. Understandable but not for me. Good luck. May you drag on til 103.

When Ya Dead Ya Dead

Posted by Boardhost Atheist on April 10, 2025, 4:58 am, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

We each live a short time, really. Some of us get more, some get less, but...

Posted by CE0802 on April 10, 2025, 3:48 am, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

...even those who live to their 80s or 90s are only here for a mere blip in time.

If you're fortunate to get more, and at the end you feel like you've done enough with your life, then you can die in peace, knowing that you did what you could with what you got.

It would be a tragedy to me to get to the end and think, ya know, I kinda wasted what I got.

I'm only 63. But I've done a lot with my life. I've made mistakes of course, but all-in-all I've done OK.

Had a great childhood that I remember fondly, graduated from VMI and made lifelong friends there.

Became a Lieutenant in the Marine Corps.

Married a beautiful woman and raised two beautiful children and had a blast doing it.

Divorced her amicably and then was fortunate to marry the first girl I ever fell in love with and now we're able to travel the world and enjoy life.

If I died today, with time to think about it, I'd think "I've done OK."

Everything from now on is just gravy.

And all without a belief in god(s).

I'm not done yet. I need more time.

Posted by Ken C on May 28, 2025, 10:55 am, in reply to "We each live a short time, really. Some of us get more, some get less, but..."

I have trouble with procrastination. I've had that problem all my life.

I'm not dying yet, but I am closer to the end than to the beginning. I wish I had more time to accomplish more.

Re: I'm not done yet. I need more time.

Posted by mark on May 31, 2025, 6:13 pm, in reply to "I'm not done yet. I need more time."

Good video. I've seen it before. Thanks.

Posted by Ken C (Admin) on June 1, 2025, 12:33 am, in reply to "Re: I'm not done yet. I need more time."

Life, aging, and death

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 9, 2025, 4:33 pm, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

Ken, why the fear of death? All lives are designed to die, to allow new people, plants, animals, even microscopic things to carry things forward, to change and evolve.

I turn eighty in November, so possibly a bit closer to dying, with a good many health issues and more likely. So over time, living becomes more limited and adjusting becomes more difficult. Go to a nursing home and see how bad living can become when you have to depend on others to keep you just technically alive.

I am mostly housebound, but at least I still can live mostly on my own. I could someday need constant care by people who are underpaid, overworked and who find their patients to just be a problem, and a nuisance.

If I were still somewhat aware, that would be a good description of Hell. Death in that case ends suffering and loneliness. Not bad thing. Both of my Parents died in their sleep, in their own bed at home. I hope to be so fortunate.

Most of us underestimate our worth in life, because most of the people that we have affected are unknown to us. It is more than family, friends, workmates and neighbors. Things that we think are of no particular worth, may be life changing to a stranger that we barely noticed.

I don't think about death very often. Too busy with life.

Posted by Mugwump on April 10, 2025, 7:33 am, in reply to "Life, aging, and death"

I figure I've got 40 years or so to go (based on family history) and so I just keep doing what I love, loving my family and my home.
Thinking about death would be a complex intellectual effort and ultimately a waste of valuable time.

Me either until it decided to mess with me

Posted by trish on April 13, 2025, 8:59 am, in reply to "I don't think about death very often. Too busy with life."

apparently Death doesn't like me ... tried three times and failed

I can almost see the "oh, hell no!" with a wagging finger

Trying now to get back to the business of living. The Ostomy bag isn't fun. I am hoping for a reversal but it has to wait until after hip surgery.

sheesh... I'm gonna be all bionic or something LOL

died in their sleep...

Posted by scott on April 9, 2025, 4:42 pm, in reply to "Life, aging, and death"

some have called that the believer's reward...

Re: died in their sleep...

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 9, 2025, 4:52 pm, in reply to "died in their sleep..."

Neither of my Parents practiced any religion.

"Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying" - Advice from a movie

Posted by Ken C on April 9, 2025, 11:03 am, in reply to "How do the atheists here deal with the prospect of eventually dying?"

I thought about this more, and remembered this advice from a movie.

I should focus on enjoying life instead of worrying about death:

Focusing one what you don't have, missing noticing the value of what you have.

Posted by Christopher Blackwell on April 9, 2025, 4:50 pm, in reply to ""Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying" - Advice from a movie"

Ken, we live in a society that is a throwaway society, where corporations make a fortune off of reminding us what we don't have and can't yet afford. Just to increase their profits, what they make for us is designed to break down soon and force us to replace it sooner, than our grandparents had to do. I am old enough to remember appliance that last for decades, even generations. Not to mention small shops with people who could repair them as needed.

That is bad enough, but we are trained to worry about what we don't have yet, or have not experienced yet, that we miss appreciating what we are fortunate enough to have right now, and those good experiences that we have had, maybe even having right now.

So what we do not appreciate while we have it, will only be noticed when they are gone. Now that is truly sad.

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