The Deuce: CNBC *

Political bullshit for the week of April 6: apologies if this was already discussed, but - doubledown April 6, 2026, 10:42:02

I think if JD knew he had the votes, he's 25th don in a heartbeat - VIV Today, 9:50:09
- gotta clear 2/3 in both senate and house, right?* - cpsteine Today, 11:43:38
  - yep. * - VIV Today, 11:44:42
    - that piece feels tough; JD couldn't control the narrative and the politics once it jumped cabinet* - cpsteine Today, 11:46:26
- My assumption. Until Trump is a negative to GOP, he’s going nowhere. * - MC Today, 10:30:04
  - he's a negative now, IMO, and it's not close. they're headed straight down* - cpsteine Today, 11:44:18
  - right. i don't think we're far off from that, though. * - VIV Today, 10:38:00
    - Are we though? - tvillini Today, 10:42:37
- It'd be like Succession S1/E6 with JD thinking he's got the votes only to have - UofIL6 Today, 9:59:06
  - agreed. And i don’t think JD has a boy named Squiggle that can cook up a beat to fix it. * - VIV Today, 10:37:24
US Forest Service being chopped down. Not sure what they do but Trump sucks * - MC Today, 8:56:53
- From the bit I read he's killing forestry research stations & consolidating offices in Utah. - EffinIllini Today, 9:25:43
I see we will be auto-registering all 18-25 yo men for the draft. Good, more pie for me.* - Warrin'_Illini Today, 8:39:03
- Could you use this same process to auto-register all 18 year olds to vote* - shua Today, 10:03:11
- Most states already do this. Something like 90% of registrations are currently automatic. * - doubledown Today, 8:47:30
- Isn't the only difference here the auto register? All men register for selective service at 18 - CanHartlebHireSnider Today, 8:47:01
  - Imagine if we just sent every 18-25 yo in the country. We could totally overwhelm anyone we wanted.* - Warrin'_Illini Today, 8:50:18
    - Overwhelm them with... TikToks and Instagram pics, aka, the Orange Krush approach?* - IlliniOllie Today, 10:10:37
    - Hasn't worked out very well for Russia so far. * - doubledown Today, 9:30:46
Today is the anniversary of the greatest day in American history. - ATL Today, 8:10:11
- wut? - EffinIllini Today, 9:28:31
  - General Lee officially surrendered on this day in 1865 - Sammich Today, 9:34:01
    - duh. - EffinIllini Today, 9:37:52
      - I don't think I had ever heard of Killdozer. Is that bad?* - ATL Today, 9:57:43
        
        No. It means you are normie as opposed to a weirdo on the internet martyring a crackpot* - CanHartlebHireSnider Today, 10:08:28
- LMFCO yisssss* - Jackie Today, 8:51:00
- nice deep cut on the bumper sticker. * - ijustkrushalot Today, 8:44:37
  - Granby is pretty nice year round. * - memyselfandillini Today, 9:12:51
0 oil tankers have transited the Strait since the ‘ceasefire’* - John Coctostan Yesterday, 22:20:17
back to threatening Greenland* - ECEIllinois Yesterday, 19:58:51
- and the Pope - Tortillini Yesterday, 20:09:16
  - Pope Leo's response: - KingTalkyTiki Yesterday, 20:12:07
    - Just excommunicate JD already. * - assassin Yesterday, 20:27:52
I suspect this was all just a way to make money - timmer Yesterday, 17:41:52
Sign seen on an overpass on the way home: “PEACE PRIZE LOL”* - VIV Yesterday, 16:23:02
Has anyone here ever even SEEN a ceasefire??? - OB25 Yesterday, 15:27:00
- You negotiate a ceasefire. But you don’t keep the ceasefire. Which is the most important part!* - DT Yesterday, 15:47:45
  - Yeah, I’m going to take the insurance because I’m going to beat the hell out of it* - timmer Yesterday, 15:57:20
- Well I’ve seen a horsefly* - timmer Yesterday, 15:38:58
- He just casually glosses over the UAE blowing up an oil refinery in Iran - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 15:33:53
  - if you want an omelette and new AI data centers, you have to crack a few eggs and oil refineries* - ghost_of_clt Yesterday, 15:41:22
    - What if your war to get new AI data centers disrupts the supply chains for AI chips? - ATL Yesterday, 15:53:39
Iran's 10 Points were written by ChatGPT. So they get an F* - Stu Yesterday, 15:10:47
Ceasefire is over. But hey, at least Donnie cashed in by manipulating the markets* - Mrap24 Yesterday, 14:05:57
Markets so odd. Not much really changed, but up 3%* - UofIL6 Yesterday, 13:04:13
Can't he just behave like a normal human? - Sounder Yesterday, 10:51:43
- No, he can't. He has frontotemporal dementia. He's genuinely not of sound mind.* - VIV Yesterday, 12:47:44
- When you’ve lost Megyn and Tucker … * - doubledown Yesterday, 12:43:58
  - I wouldn't say he lost them. He discarded them. - Chuck Woodaby Yesterday, 13:08:42
- He never has...and he ain't gonna get better as the senility takes hold - KingTalkyTiki Yesterday, 11:00:38
- In fact, he was voted in specifically because he acts like this.* - Warrin'_Illini Yesterday, 10:55:15
it seems like literally everyone in israel is upset with this deal. so maybe this leads to the fall - John Coctostan Yesterday, 10:46:18
Has anyone seen the Iran Lego rap/diss videos? I keep seeing them on TikTok... - shua Yesterday, 10:23:55
- When the folks running a repressive Islamic fundamentalist regime have more social media savvy... - KingTalkyTiki Yesterday, 13:08:23
Breaking news? Iran says strait will be closed again because of Israel * - MC Yesterday, 9:53:45
- WH says Lebanon is not part of the ceasefire. So yeah both sides are not on the same page* - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 10:29:48
- Yeah I don’t think this is over - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 10:05:12
  - How could it be over? Did you see Iran's 10 point plan?* - Stu Yesterday, 10:06:45
    - Yes that’s my point. The US will never agree to it - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 10:07:49
      - Unless... - larue33 Yesterday, 10:51:55
        
        Funnel payments through the Board of Peace to avoid the appearance of corruption.* - DT Yesterday, 14:47:10
      - Trump absolutely capitulated. - Chuck Woodaby Yesterday, 10:23:08
        
        Art of the Deal* - Sounder Yesterday, 10:29:30
- Link? * - Tuscy Yesterday, 10:04:46
  - CNBC * - MC Yesterday, 10:15:49
  - TV* - Stu Yesterday, 10:05:37
- Art of the deal!* - SurfTheBoneyard Yesterday, 10:01:08
Credit where credit is due, I have to admit that Trump appears to have gotten us - doubledown Yesterday, 8:49:37
- I kind of think we’re just gonna go back to bombing them again in 2 weeks - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 9:19:24
  - I think Trump desperately wants out. He had no clue of the consequences of his actions - Stu Yesterday, 9:33:44
    - if he could get out while making it look like he won, he totally would. * - VIV Yesterday, 14:19:36
  - Maybe. but also Trump and hegseth were both claiming the that regime change has been accomplished - John Coctostan Yesterday, 9:25:23
    - They say a lot of things - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 9:59:10
      - for sure. if Israel and Iran keep shooting, then nothing changes and we'll be dragged back in* - John Coctostan Yesterday, 10:06:58
        
        Iran is now shutting down the strait because Israel attacked Hezbollah in Lebanon - CanHartlebHireSnider Yesterday, 10:11:19
- He's done nothing to accomplish the main goal of the war - Stu Yesterday, 8:56:38
  - There was a goal?* - Warrin'_Illini Yesterday, 8:57:44
    - Jewish guy ... **snaps fingers twice, scratches chin** ... used to be a teacher ...* - complainant Yesterday, 9:10:59
    - Really, to eliminate Iran's HEU and capabilities.* - Stu Yesterday, 9:07:57
      - How many ships hit the Strait daily? Palettes of cash!* - Warrin'_Illini Yesterday, 9:12:48
        
        This will take awhile to straighten out. Firstly, insurance companies have to be willing to step in - Stu Yesterday, 9:35:16
        
        Reportedly 100-130 ships per day - Jersey Yesterday, 9:18:15
    - There was a different one at every press conference/gaggle. So like 23 goals.* - ATL Yesterday, 9:02:29
      - It's gonna cost $2 million every time we Strait. That rules.* - Warrin'_Illini Yesterday, 9:04:26
Iran planning to charge $2M per tanker to go through strait. we've achieved less than nothing* - John Coctostan Yesterday, 8:45:45
It seems like somebody is currently firing missiles at Israel.* - Mrap24 April 7, 2026, 19:52:29
- Is it biclops?* - ATL Yesterday, 8:37:30
- Doesn’t sound like Israel is going to observe the cease fire - Stu April 7, 2026, 20:50:26
- The call is coming from inside the house. * - haighter April 7, 2026, 20:00:19
Wonder how much money they made today?* - Mrap24 April 7, 2026, 17:40:33
- Check your storks!* - Stu April 7, 2026, 17:49:17
Two weeks! - SurfTheBoneyard April 7, 2026, 17:36:41
- Interesting. Iran says they will open the strait.* - LeatherneckIllini April 7, 2026, 19:09:36
  - We agreed to all of their demands. The MIC remains undefeated. - Chuck Woodaby April 7, 2026, 19:33:01
- What exactly does Pakistan have to do with all of this?* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 18:25:30
  - Let me put this in terms you might understand: - Chuck Woodaby April 7, 2026, 18:41:04
    - Fantastic* - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 19:53:33
    - This might be the best post of the year* - Quiz April 7, 2026, 19:25:14
      - Had the same thought. * - assassin April 7, 2026, 19:46:37
  - Pakistan is close to China, which wants its oil back* - Stu April 7, 2026, 18:40:25
  - Neutral mediator. Iran is bombing all the others that tried to mediate* - CanHartlebHireSnider April 7, 2026, 18:30:43
    - Art of the Deal* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 18:38:16
- Gas prices will likely remain close to $4/gal - timmer April 7, 2026, 18:14:57
- Another Picasso from Trump* - snipes824 April 7, 2026, 17:57:08
  - Well, at least we’re giving Iran time to rebuild their missile/drone capabilities* - Stu April 7, 2026, 18:09:06
- What a pussy* - Mrap24 April 7, 2026, 17:39:33
T-minus two hours people!!!!* - timmer April 7, 2026, 17:01:14
- I will be on a flight across the Atlantic. Keep me posted!* - Dilbert April 7, 2026, 17:31:51
  - Iranians threaten to blow up US airliners over Atlantic* - Stu April 7, 2026, 17:52:19
Trump gets two week deadline extension to seize on, thanks to Pakistan - Stu April 7, 2026, 14:39:24
- Or we just wrote a tweet for the Pakastani PM to post: - Chuck Woodaby April 7, 2026, 16:50:54
  - Unsurprising* - Stu April 7, 2026, 17:12:40
  - lol, no way* - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 16:52:25
- THE ART OF THE DEAL!!!!!!* - shua April 7, 2026, 15:07:02
- Right before market close. I'm so shocked* - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 14:57:54
NYT reporting confirms that Bibi sold Trump on the war with a pollyannish assessment of risk/reward - ATL April 7, 2026, 14:09:36
- they shoulda just appended "JD told us all of this" to the end, because it's pretty obvious who's - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 15:17:24
  - I don't think it's a leak. - Chuck Woodaby April 7, 2026, 15:47:45
    - There’s no way trump was anyway able to describe details like that and remember who said what or - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 19:32:23
    - Probably true. Trump brags about it because he’s proud of it - CanHartlebHireSnider April 7, 2026, 16:10:40
    - It's like the "they're bragging" scene from The Big Short* - VIV April 7, 2026, 16:10:25
- I wish we would just bomb Israel* - HeatMizer April 7, 2026, 15:05:35
  - Whoa whoa whoa whoa. - Toonces April 7, 2026, 15:23:53
    - That's probably an even money bet on Polymarket. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 15:25:47
- I mean really, how long could a war in the Middle East last?* - shua April 7, 2026, 15:02:17
  - Doesn’t this thing cost about a billion dollars per day? I’m not even sure how that’s possible.* - Toonces April 7, 2026, 15:24:41
    - that's why they need another $450 billion for war in FY 2027* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 15:58:48
      - If only Iran had spent money on their people, the USA might be able to afford Medicare* - DocWalk20 April 7, 2026, 16:50:14
    - the corruption has to be off the charts* - shua April 7, 2026, 15:38:26
  - Probably hours or days. Weeks or months at most surely. - DocWalk20 April 7, 2026, 15:23:18
- Shocking* - DocWalk20 April 7, 2026, 14:44:57
- If only Trump wasn't the dumbest motherfucker imaginable. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 14:25:47
Seriously CNBC what the Fuck kind of question is this? - ATL April 7, 2026, 13:30:49
- Making Sherpa - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 18:28:57
- There's a segment of the population that doesn't care about good and evil as long as they profit. - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 15:43:07
- It's all about the Trump Put - Stu April 7, 2026, 14:15:57
- ooo - Sammich April 7, 2026, 13:43:52
- I guess the answer is buy calls. Either they print or it doesn't matter anyway* - meanjeans April 7, 2026, 13:36:42
has the deadline passed? Or was it 8pm eastern? i'm so confused* - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 13:22:20
- Maybe he moved it to 1-2 PM like the Iranians had asked* - ATL April 7, 2026, 13:24:04
EMEA historian sees similarities - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 13:10:42
Some expert on CNBC said the consequences on oil prices could last a decade - Stu April 7, 2026, 12:06:50
- Oil industry expert says oil industry may be forced to keep prices high* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 12:30:44
  - Time to update the Landman speech. $108/barrel is the new target.* - Warrin'_Illini April 7, 2026, 13:26:09
  - It’s their commitment to fighting climate change. * - assassin April 7, 2026, 12:33:35
  - "Listen, we don't want to keep making these obscene profits, but we owe it, to the children"* - IlliniRunner April 7, 2026, 12:32:46
- Fake news* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 12:09:17
meanwhile, JD Vance is spending tax dollars to interfere in another country's election - assassin April 7, 2026, 11:51:24
- and to maybe learn a thing or two: - ghost_of_clt April 7, 2026, 15:46:04
- oOo - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 12:20:31
- while claiming that Ukraine is interfering in ours? these people are craven psychopaths* - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 11:59:30
  - a functional nation might have moved on to the revolution part by now* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 12:32:26
    - For a country that was founded on a revolution against a perceived oppressive government - Sounder April 7, 2026, 12:51:13
      - We literally had a civil war. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 15:20:55
Donnie already Taco’ing* - Mrap24 April 7, 2026, 11:01:50
Big jump in gas prices in CU today, $4.29…yesterday was like $3.89ish* - Jackie April 7, 2026, 11:01:25
- Just wait until it goes to $10 when half of the Middle East refineries get bombed out* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 11:32:15
  - There isn't a redneck alive that wouldn't personally take up arms over $10/gallon gas. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 11:49:03
    - sure, but they'll be blaming/hunting trans people and college professors* - RVA April 7, 2026, 12:37:27
    - At $10 a gallon, I think you see most airline travel halted* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 11:52:15
      - followed shortly by a US bailout of El Al* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 12:33:14
Iranian embassies are apparently just trolling Trump these days - ATL April 7, 2026, 10:49:19
I wonder if Ron could maybe find anyone to put some pressure on the president - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 9:46:36
- if thoughts and prayers are good enough for American kids - Sammich April 7, 2026, 10:00:35
Game of chicken? Trump: Whole civilization will die tonight - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 7:49:02
- I wonder why the constitution didn’t give war powers to a single individual?* - PapaDels April 7, 2026, 11:13:30
  - But apparently it does goes nuke powers to one person* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 12:00:07
- I feel like there should be an annual razzie award for anti-Peace Prize - timmer April 7, 2026, 10:29:23
  - I think it's the FIFA Peace Prize. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 10:57:56
    - At this point, even FIFA is thinking about taking back their award* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 11:34:11
  - They already do. It’s called the fifa peace prize* - snipes824 April 7, 2026, 10:57:49
- A House of Dynamite* - Sounder April 7, 2026, 10:22:29
- Sure he's threatening genocide and alienating every one of our allies... - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 10:13:35
  - Are we sure there's fewer gender neutral bathrooms? They're being built all the time.* - Toonces April 7, 2026, 10:23:00
    - Next you'll tell me the Dow isn't over 50K anymore, either!* - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 10:37:24
  - fewer* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 10:18:20
    - Dagnabit.* - KingTalkyTiki April 7, 2026, 10:36:43
- It's worth noting Trump said he was going to liberate the Iranians from an evil regime. - Toonces April 7, 2026, 9:31:13
- democrats got rid of their unfit, senile grandpa. when will the GOP get the balls to do the same?* - VIV April 7, 2026, 8:44:38
  - Of all the things that are never going to happen, this is the most never going to happen thing.* - Warrin'_Illini April 7, 2026, 8:58:01
  - never, d'uh* - TarheelIllini April 7, 2026, 8:50:07
  - When will the media report on Trump's obvious senility in the same way they did Biden's? - ATL April 7, 2026, 8:48:32
- I’m shocked that this guy was on the brink of going broke because nobody wanted to work with him. * - doubledown April 7, 2026, 8:38:45
- happy war crimes day to all how celebrate* - John Coctostan April 7, 2026, 8:31:40
  - the Department of War encourages us to treat every day like it's War Crimes Day* - Sammich April 7, 2026, 8:41:03
- Will just lie to get out of his ultimatum. Claim that Iran has capitulated. - Stu April 7, 2026, 8:15:05
  - Do people really not get that this is insane?* - VIV April 7, 2026, 8:45:27
    - A lot of people do, but our national press/media are desperately trying to sane-wash it* - IlliniRunner April 7, 2026, 12:33:55
  - That's the offramp he was already hoping for. Iran closing the strait and pissing off his buddies - OrangeSox April 7, 2026, 8:36:02
  - Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum - ATL April 7, 2026, 8:16:29
  - Yep, that will certainly happen. Miraculous last second negotiation where he gets nothing - UofIL6 April 7, 2026, 8:16:17
- TACO* - LeatherneckIllini April 7, 2026, 8:11:59
Iran apparently bombed a critically important Saudi petrochemical plant which may or may not still - John Coctostan April 6, 2026, 21:47:56
galaxybrained idea floated by Markwayne: close down customs at airports in sanctuary cities* - ECEIllinois April 6, 2026, 19:25:42
- You mean, where most of the international flights land? - SurfTheBoneyard April 6, 2026, 21:59:49
  - We really made a mistake letting people from the shithole states (and the shithole parts of other - ATL April 7, 2026, 7:55:45
- Yeah, that sounds like the kind of idea he'd come up with. * - doubledown April 6, 2026, 19:26:55
NY Times often sanewashes shit Trump says but not here - ATL April 6, 2026, 16:32:06
“Trump warns Iran to accept ultimatum or accept wrath of next ultimatum” The Onion* - PapaDels April 6, 2026, 15:52:37
- Some people are saying they are the empty, the emptiest threats anyone has ever made.* - DT April 6, 2026, 15:58:27
  - Big strong men were crying saying “sir, thank you for being so tough for me!”* - PapaDels April 6, 2026, 16:55:43
  - Trump seems like he might be in "fuck it, nuke 'em" range. - Warrin'_Illini April 6, 2026, 16:01:01
"the response he got from President Trump was one of surprise that Canada still had a monarchy... - KingTalkyTiki April 6, 2026, 15:46:39
I still have so many questions about this rescue in Iran saturday - John Coctostan April 6, 2026, 14:39:53
- It’s not far from Isfahan though not super close - CanHartlebHireSnider April 6, 2026, 15:26:14
Today was the Easter Egg Role - ATL April 6, 2026, 14:27:40
- Bondi’s new important private sector job? - SurfTheBoneyard April 6, 2026, 17:19:28
- Easter bunny role played by Rubio?* - RVA April 6, 2026, 15:03:26
  - member when it was Spicer? - Sammich April 6, 2026, 16:24:42
  - Was the Easter Bunny wearing Florsheims three sizes too big for Marco?* - DocWalk20 April 6, 2026, 15:15:22
How long before Bannon files a multimillion dollar lawsuit that is promptly settled - doubledown April 6, 2026, 14:03:32
I wish I could teleport to a timeline where I didn't know who Nick Shirley and Big Balls are. - doubledown April 6, 2026, 13:27:36
Your very sane president - ATL April 6, 2026, 11:30:51
- He’s talking about the Kurds. He says they sent guns to the Kurds - CanHartlebHireSnider April 6, 2026, 14:15:19
  - Art of the Deal.* - JFG April 6, 2026, 15:05:22
  - OK?* - ATL April 6, 2026, 14:16:45
- get grandpa to bed, he's telling stories about the autopen to random kids - assassin April 6, 2026, 12:32:51
- ooo - ijustkrushalot April 6, 2026, 11:40:14

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