Political bullshit for the week of April 6: apologies if this was already discussed, but
Posted by doubledown
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I think if JD knew he had the votes, he's 25th don in a heartbeat
Posted by VIV
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gotta clear 2/3 in both senate and house, right?*
Posted by cpsteine
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yep. *
Posted by VIV
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that piece feels tough; JD couldn't control the narrative and the politics once it jumped cabinet*
Posted by cpsteine
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My assumption. Until Trump is a negative to GOP, he’s going nowhere. *
Posted by MC
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he's a negative now, IMO, and it's not close. they're headed straight down*
Posted by cpsteine
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right. i don't think we're far off from that, though. *
Posted by VIV
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Are we though?
Posted by tvillini
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It'd be like Succession S1/E6 with JD thinking he's got the votes only to have
Posted by UofIL6
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agreed. And i don’t think JD has a boy named Squiggle that can cook up a beat to fix it. *
Posted by VIV
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US Forest Service being chopped down. Not sure what they do but Trump sucks *
Posted by MC
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From the bit I read he's killing forestry research stations & consolidating offices in Utah.
Posted by EffinIllini
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I see we will be auto-registering all 18-25 yo men for the draft. Good, more pie for me.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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Could you use this same process to auto-register all 18 year olds to vote*
Posted by shua
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Most states already do this. Something like 90% of registrations are currently automatic. *
Posted by doubledown
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Isn't the only difference here the auto register? All men register for selective service at 18
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Imagine if we just sent every 18-25 yo in the country. We could totally overwhelm anyone we wanted.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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Overwhelm them with... TikToks and Instagram pics, aka, the Orange Krush approach?*
Posted by IlliniOllie
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Hasn't worked out very well for Russia so far. *
Posted by doubledown
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Today is the anniversary of the greatest day in American history.
Posted by ATL
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wut?
Posted by EffinIllini Edit: and there's a chance I could be in Granby June 2nd or 3rd.
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General Lee officially surrendered on this day in 1865
Posted by Sammich
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duh.
Posted by EffinIllini
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I don't think I had ever heard of Killdozer. Is that bad?*
Posted by ATL
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No. It means you are normie as opposed to a weirdo on the internet martyring a crackpot*
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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LMFCO yisssss*
Posted by Jackie
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nice deep cut on the bumper sticker. *
Posted by ijustkrushalot
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Granby is pretty nice year round. *
Posted by memyselfandillini
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0 oil tankers have transited the Strait since the ‘ceasefire’*
Posted by John Coctostan
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back to threatening Greenland*
Posted by ECEIllinois
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and the Pope
Posted by Tortillini
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Pope Leo's response:
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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Just excommunicate JD already. *
Posted by assassin
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I suspect this was all just a way to make money
Posted by timmer
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Sign seen on an overpass on the way home: “PEACE PRIZE LOL”*
Posted by VIV
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Has anyone here ever even SEEN a ceasefire???
Posted by OB25
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You negotiate a ceasefire. But you don’t keep the ceasefire. Which is the most important part!*
Posted by DT
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Yeah, I’m going to take the insurance because I’m going to beat the hell out of it*
Posted by timmer
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Well I’ve seen a horsefly*
Posted by timmer
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He just casually glosses over the UAE blowing up an oil refinery in Iran
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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if you want an omelette and new AI data centers, you have to crack a few eggs and oil refineries*
Posted by ghost_of_clt
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What if your war to get new AI data centers disrupts the supply chains for AI chips?
Posted by ATL
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Iran's 10 Points were written by ChatGPT. So they get an F*
Posted by Stu
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Ceasefire is over. But hey, at least Donnie cashed in by manipulating the markets*
Posted by Mrap24
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Markets so odd. Not much really changed, but up 3%*
Posted by UofIL6
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Can't he just behave like a normal human?
Posted by Sounder
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No, he can't. He has frontotemporal dementia. He's genuinely not of sound mind.*
Posted by VIV
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When you’ve lost Megyn and Tucker … *
Posted by doubledown
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I wouldn't say he lost them. He discarded them.
Posted by Chuck Woodaby
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He never has...and he ain't gonna get better as the senility takes hold
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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In fact, he was voted in specifically because he acts like this.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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it seems like literally everyone in israel is upset with this deal. so maybe this leads to the fall
Posted by John Coctostan
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Has anyone seen the Iran Lego rap/diss videos? I keep seeing them on TikTok...
Posted by shua
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When the folks running a repressive Islamic fundamentalist regime have more social media savvy...
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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Breaking news? Iran says strait will be closed again because of Israel *
Posted by MC
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WH says Lebanon is not part of the ceasefire. So yeah both sides are not on the same page*
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Yeah I don’t think this is over
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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How could it be over? Did you see Iran's 10 point plan?*
Posted by Stu
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Yes that’s my point. The US will never agree to it
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Unless...
Posted by larue33
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Funnel payments through the Board of Peace to avoid the appearance of corruption.*
Posted by DT
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Trump absolutely capitulated.
Posted by Chuck Woodaby
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Art of the Deal*
Posted by Sounder
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Link? *
Posted by Tuscy
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CNBC *
Posted by MC
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TV*
Posted by Stu
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Art of the deal!*
Posted by SurfTheBoneyard “Surf is just a national treasure.” — Jackie
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Credit where credit is due, I have to admit that Trump appears to have gotten us
Posted by doubledown
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I kind of think we’re just gonna go back to bombing them again in 2 weeks
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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I think Trump desperately wants out. He had no clue of the consequences of his actions
Posted by Stu
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if he could get out while making it look like he won, he totally would. *
Posted by VIV
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Maybe. but also Trump and hegseth were both claiming the that regime change has been accomplished
Posted by John Coctostan
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They say a lot of things
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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for sure. if Israel and Iran keep shooting, then nothing changes and we'll be dragged back in*
Posted by John Coctostan
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Iran is now shutting down the strait because Israel attacked Hezbollah in Lebanon
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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He's done nothing to accomplish the main goal of the war
Posted by Stu
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There was a goal?*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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Jewish guy ... **snaps fingers twice, scratches chin** ... used to be a teacher ...*
Posted by complainant
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Really, to eliminate Iran's HEU and capabilities.*
Posted by Stu
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How many ships hit the Strait daily? Palettes of cash!*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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This will take awhile to straighten out. Firstly, insurance companies have to be willing to step in
Posted by Stu
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Reportedly 100-130 ships per day
Posted by Jersey
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There was a different one at every press conference/gaggle. So like 23 goals.*
Posted by ATL
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It's gonna cost $2 million every time we Strait. That rules.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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Iran planning to charge $2M per tanker to go through strait. we've achieved less than nothing*
Posted by John Coctostan
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It seems like somebody is currently firing missiles at Israel.*
Posted by Mrap24
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Is it biclops?*
Posted by ATL
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Doesn’t sound like Israel is going to observe the cease fire
Posted by Stu
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The call is coming from inside the house. *
Posted by haighter
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Wonder how much money they made today?*
Posted by Mrap24
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Check your storks!*
Posted by Stu
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Two weeks!
Posted by SurfTheBoneyard “Surf is just a national treasure.” — Jackie
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Interesting. Iran says they will open the strait.*
Posted by LeatherneckIllini
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We agreed to all of their demands. The MIC remains undefeated.
Posted by Chuck Woodaby
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What exactly does Pakistan have to do with all of this?*
Posted by Sounder
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Let me put this in terms you might understand:
Posted by Chuck Woodaby
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Fantastic*
Posted by UofIL6
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This might be the best post of the year*
Posted by Quiz
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Had the same thought. *
Posted by assassin
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Pakistan is close to China, which wants its oil back*
Posted by Stu
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Neutral mediator. Iran is bombing all the others that tried to mediate*
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Art of the Deal*
Posted by Sounder
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Gas prices will likely remain close to $4/gal
Posted by timmer
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Another Picasso from Trump*
Posted by snipes824
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Well, at least we’re giving Iran time to rebuild their missile/drone capabilities*
Posted by Stu
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What a pussy*
Posted by Mrap24
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T-minus two hours people!!!!*
Posted by timmer
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I will be on a flight across the Atlantic. Keep me posted!*
Posted by Dilbert
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Iranians threaten to blow up US airliners over Atlantic*
Posted by Stu
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Trump gets two week deadline extension to seize on, thanks to Pakistan
Posted by Stu
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Or we just wrote a tweet for the Pakastani PM to post:
Posted by Chuck Woodaby Oh, this is unbelievable. The edit history on this tweet shows that Pakistan Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif originally copied and pasted everything he was sent, including:
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Unsurprising*
Posted by Stu
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lol, no way*
Posted by UofIL6
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THE ART OF THE DEAL!!!!!!*
Posted by shua
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Right before market close. I'm so shocked*
Posted by UofIL6
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NYT reporting confirms that Bibi sold Trump on the war with a pollyannish assessment of risk/reward
Posted by ATL
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they shoulda just appended "JD told us all of this" to the end, because it's pretty obvious who's
Posted by John Coctostan
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I don't think it's a leak.
Posted by Chuck Woodaby
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There’s no way trump was anyway able to describe details like that and remember who said what or
Posted by John Coctostan
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Probably true. Trump brags about it because he’s proud of it
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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It's like the "they're bragging" scene from The Big Short*
Posted by VIV
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I wish we would just bomb Israel*
Posted by HeatMizer
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Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Posted by Toonces
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That's probably an even money bet on Polymarket. *
Posted by doubledown
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I mean really, how long could a war in the Middle East last?*
Posted by shua
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Doesn’t this thing cost about a billion dollars per day? I’m not even sure how that’s possible.*
Posted by Toonces
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that's why they need another $450 billion for war in FY 2027*
Posted by Sammich
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If only Iran had spent money on their people, the USA might be able to afford Medicare*
Posted by DocWalk20
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the corruption has to be off the charts*
Posted by shua
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Probably hours or days. Weeks or months at most surely.
Posted by DocWalk20
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Shocking*
Posted by DocWalk20
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If only Trump wasn't the dumbest motherfucker imaginable. *
Posted by doubledown
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Seriously CNBC what the Fuck kind of question is this?
Posted by ATL
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Making Sherpa
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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There's a segment of the population that doesn't care about good and evil as long as they profit.
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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It's all about the Trump Put
Posted by Stu
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ooo
Posted by Sammich
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I guess the answer is buy calls. Either they print or it doesn't matter anyway*
Posted by meanjeans
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has the deadline passed? Or was it 8pm eastern? i'm so confused*
Posted by John Coctostan
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Maybe he moved it to 1-2 PM like the Iranians had asked*
Posted by ATL
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EMEA historian sees similarities
Posted by UofIL6
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Some expert on CNBC said the consequences on oil prices could last a decade
Posted by Stu
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Oil industry expert says oil industry may be forced to keep prices high*
Posted by Sammich
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Time to update the Landman speech. $108/barrel is the new target.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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It’s their commitment to fighting climate change. *
Posted by assassin
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"Listen, we don't want to keep making these obscene profits, but we owe it, to the children"*
Posted by IlliniRunner
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Fake news*
Posted by Sounder
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meanwhile, JD Vance is spending tax dollars to interfere in another country's election
Posted by assassin
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and to maybe learn a thing or two:
Posted by ghost_of_clt
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oOo
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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while claiming that Ukraine is interfering in ours? these people are craven psychopaths*
Posted by John Coctostan
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a functional nation might have moved on to the revolution part by now*
Posted by Sammich
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For a country that was founded on a revolution against a perceived oppressive government
Posted by Sounder
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We literally had a civil war. *
Posted by doubledown
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Donnie already Taco’ing*
Posted by Mrap24
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Big jump in gas prices in CU today, $4.29…yesterday was like $3.89ish*
Posted by Jackie
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Just wait until it goes to $10 when half of the Middle East refineries get bombed out*
Posted by Sounder
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There isn't a redneck alive that wouldn't personally take up arms over $10/gallon gas. *
Posted by doubledown
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sure, but they'll be blaming/hunting trans people and college professors*
Posted by RVA
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At $10 a gallon, I think you see most airline travel halted*
Posted by Sounder
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followed shortly by a US bailout of El Al*
Posted by Sammich
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Iranian embassies are apparently just trolling Trump these days
Posted by ATL
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I wonder if Ron could maybe find anyone to put some pressure on the president
Posted by John Coctostan
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if thoughts and prayers are good enough for American kids
Posted by Sammich
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Game of chicken? Trump: Whole civilization will die tonight
Posted by UofIL6
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I wonder why the constitution didn’t give war powers to a single individual?*
Posted by PapaDels
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But apparently it does goes nuke powers to one person*
Posted by Sounder
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I feel like there should be an annual razzie award for anti-Peace Prize
Posted by timmer
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I think it's the FIFA Peace Prize. *
Posted by doubledown
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At this point, even FIFA is thinking about taking back their award*
Posted by Sounder
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They already do. It’s called the fifa peace prize*
Posted by snipes824
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A House of Dynamite*
Posted by Sounder
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Sure he's threatening genocide and alienating every one of our allies...
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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Are we sure there's fewer gender neutral bathrooms? They're being built all the time.*
Posted by Toonces
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Next you'll tell me the Dow isn't over 50K anymore, either!*
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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fewer*
Posted by Sammich
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Dagnabit.*
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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It's worth noting Trump said he was going to liberate the Iranians from an evil regime.
Posted by Toonces
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democrats got rid of their unfit, senile grandpa. when will the GOP get the balls to do the same?*
Posted by VIV
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Of all the things that are never going to happen, this is the most never going to happen thing.*
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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never, d'uh*
Posted by TarheelIllini
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When will the media report on Trump's obvious senility in the same way they did Biden's?
Posted by ATL
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I’m shocked that this guy was on the brink of going broke because nobody wanted to work with him. *
Posted by doubledown
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happy war crimes day to all how celebrate*
Posted by John Coctostan
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the Department of War encourages us to treat every day like it's War Crimes Day*
Posted by Sammich
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Will just lie to get out of his ultimatum. Claim that Iran has capitulated.
Posted by Stu
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Do people really not get that this is insane?*
Posted by VIV
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A lot of people do, but our national press/media are desperately trying to sane-wash it*
Posted by IlliniRunner
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That's the offramp he was already hoping for. Iran closing the strait and pissing off his buddies
Posted by OrangeSox
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Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
Posted by ATL
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Yep, that will certainly happen. Miraculous last second negotiation where he gets nothing
Posted by UofIL6
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TACO*
Posted by LeatherneckIllini
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Iran apparently bombed a critically important Saudi petrochemical plant which may or may not still
Posted by John Coctostan
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galaxybrained idea floated by Markwayne: close down customs at airports in sanctuary cities*
Posted by ECEIllinois
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You mean, where most of the international flights land?
Posted by SurfTheBoneyard “Surf is just a national treasure.” — Jackie
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We really made a mistake letting people from the shithole states (and the shithole parts of other
Posted by ATL
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Yeah, that sounds like the kind of idea he'd come up with. *
Posted by doubledown
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NY Times often sanewashes shit Trump says but not here
Posted by ATL
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“Trump warns Iran to accept ultimatum or accept wrath of next ultimatum” The Onion*
Posted by PapaDels
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Some people are saying they are the empty, the emptiest threats anyone has ever made.*
Posted by DT
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Big strong men were crying saying “sir, thank you for being so tough for me!”*
Posted by PapaDels
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Trump seems like he might be in "fuck it, nuke 'em" range.
Posted by Warrin'_Illini
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"the response he got from President Trump was one of surprise that Canada still had a monarchy...
Posted by KingTalkyTiki
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I still have so many questions about this rescue in Iran saturday
Posted by John Coctostan
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It’s not far from Isfahan though not super close
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Today was the Easter Egg Role
Posted by ATL
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Bondi’s new important private sector job?
Posted by SurfTheBoneyard “Surf is just a national treasure.” — Jackie
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Easter bunny role played by Rubio?*
Posted by RVA
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member when it was Spicer?
Posted by Sammich
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Was the Easter Bunny wearing Florsheims three sizes too big for Marco?*
Posted by DocWalk20
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How long before Bannon files a multimillion dollar lawsuit that is promptly settled
Posted by doubledown
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I wish I could teleport to a timeline where I didn't know who Nick Shirley and Big Balls are.
Posted by doubledown
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Your very sane president
Posted by ATL
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He’s talking about the Kurds. He says they sent guns to the Kurds
Posted by CanHartlebHireSnider
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Art of the Deal.*
Posted by JFG
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OK?*
Posted by ATL
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get grandpa to bed, he's telling stories about the autopen to random kids
Posted by assassin
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ooo
Posted by ijustkrushalot
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