The Deuce

The Deuce
[ The Deuce ]

Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?

Posted by ATL User icon on October 31, 2026, 06:15:52

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

“We are old and tired and just want to be taken care of.” - Republican voter, Dec. 2024.

Was out picking up his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat at the cleaners*

Posted by illini222 User icon on October 31, 2026, 11:06:14, in reply to "Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?"

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

Drink Everytime Brad Underwood says "Elite" in a press conference.

Crucifixion? Yes. Good. Out of the door, line to the left, one cross each. Next!*

Posted by biclops User icon on October 31, 2026, 09:04:06, in reply to "Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?"

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

Just as the four walls closed me within
My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight

And happy Reformation Day to those who celebrate. *

Posted by larue33 User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:18:22, in reply to "Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?"

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

Who’s crucifixion?

Posted by timmer User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:10:33, in reply to "Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?"

Or is it ‘whose’?

Lots of crucifixions going on then. Need to specify

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

(for rent)

I know you’re only mocking religion, but he was dead by that time.*

Posted by Stu User icon on October 31, 2026, 06:33:01, in reply to "Q: why wasn’t Joseph there at the crucifixion?"

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

"Just like a human, grass has a life"

true. Most people back then never saw their 36th bday. Joseph was 20-25 when Jesus was born

Posted by bbonb User icon on October 31, 2026, 11:06:39, in reply to "I know you’re only mocking religion, but he was dead by that time.*"

Last mention of Joseph was when Jesus was 12

There is no mention of Joseph's death in the canonical gospels

Posted by ATL User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:10:09, in reply to "I know you’re only mocking religion, but he was dead by that time.*"

but in some of the gnostic texts, I understand he died from attempting to jump the Sea of Galilea in a custom Harley.

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

“We are old and tired and just want to be taken care of.” - Republican voter, Dec. 2024.

It's assumed that Jesus would not have made one of his disciples responsible for Mary

Posted by larue33 User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:14:53, in reply to "There is no mention of Joseph's death in the canonical gospels"

had Joseph been alive, but it's true that he disappears from the scene pretty quickly and his actual fate is unknown.

It wasn't really custom, just had aftermarket pipes. *

Posted by doubledown User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:12:23, in reply to "There is no mention of Joseph's death in the canonical gospels"

Previous Message

but in some of the gnostic texts, I understand he died from attempting to jump the Sea of Galilea in a custom Harley.

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

Nobody is mocking religion. Christianity isn't a religion.

Posted by doubledown User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:02:36, in reply to "I know you’re only mocking religion, but he was dead by that time.*"

It's a relationship.

(I dare you to do a search on that idea.)

Previous Message

A1: that was Jesus’s weekend with his real dad

A2: he went out for a pack of smokes

A3: he wasn’t there for the conception either

That is something a particular type of Christian would say.

Posted by larue33 User icon on October 31, 2026, 07:12:27, in reply to "Nobody is mocking religion. Christianity isn't a religion."

Can you say what aspects of a religion Christianity lacks?

I agree with you. It IS a religion... and shares aspects with all other religions. Specifically:

Posted by Wotcher User icon on October 31, 2026, 09:54:57, in reply to "That is something a particular type of Christian would say."

It's built on superstition instead of scientific fact, and it has done (and continues to do) more harm to society in general than good.

Having been raised in a so-called "Christian" cult, I have direct knowledge and experience of just how hypocritical, warped and twisted "religion" can be, and usually is.

The most difficult thing in the world is
to know how to do a thing and
watch someone else doing it wrong,
without commenting.
-T.H. White

it can also produce truly good people who do great things and change lives*

Posted by bbonb User icon on October 31, 2026, 11:09:55, in reply to "I agree with you. It IS a religion... and shares aspects with all other religions. Specifically:"

Previous Message

Huh. Interesting. Maybe someday I'll meet one of those people. Doubt it, but maybe.*

Posted by Wotcher User icon on October 31, 2026, 11:24:04, in reply to "it can also produce truly good people who do great things and change lives*"

The most difficult thing in the world is
to know how to do a thing and
watch someone else doing it wrong,
without commenting.
-T.H. White

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