I have a copy of Harry’s book. He said that initially his aunts offered the Spencer tiara and that Meghan planned her dress and the scallops on her veil for it. Then, closer to the wedding they got an invitation by the Queen to come to the Palace and try some on.
That meeting, in the Queen’s private dressing room, included a jewelry expert (“an eminent historian who knew the lineage of each stone in the royal collection”) plus Angela Kelly and the Queen. Five tiaras. One all emeralds, one aquamarine plus three more not described. They all agreed on one which stood out. The Queen told Meghan to practice putting it in before the big day with a hairdresser as it was tricky. When Harry and Meghan later tried to contact Angela Kelly, she ignored them. Eventually told them they’d need an orderly and police escort to take it from the Palace, but was too busy to arrange it. He thought about going to the Queen, but didn’t want a confrontation and wasn’t sure who the Queen would side with. Harry finally got it from Angela Kelly after she had him sign a release and then they some had words.
My thoughts. Did the Palace just assume Harry knew the Queen would lend him one and never bothered to bring it up earlier? Disorganized? Think Meghan wouldn’t wear one? Or did they find out about the Spencer tiara and not like the optics?
As for the tiaras, I assume the emerald one was the Greville. I doubt the Palace’s jewelry expert (Hugh Roberts?) would have allowed a tiara with questionable lineage to be shown. Agree that the aquamarine was probably Sophie’s. The one Meghan selected seems most like the Spencer tiara in shape and scale.