Amigos!

While Mateo has been busy wondering if an engineering degree would result in a “high-end restaurant,” do you think he should give geology a try?

WE WILL ROCK YOU
Mateo considers many of you too young to remember this, but his first visit to La Manzanilla took place in 2013. In September. With rain, heat and hardly any tourists–and fewer expats–in town. And rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Despite the rocks on the beach, he decided to pack up his belongings in Louisiana and move to a village powered by a 1993 Prodigy internet page.

More than a decade later, the rocks might have smashed the spirit of some folks, but not Mateo as he remains proud of his beach establishment free of signs pointing out a bevy of regulations at the limited-menu, 2-star restaurant on the rockiest part of the beach.

FACT VS FICTION
Fact: Mateo’s father has two engineering degrees
Fiction: Mateo will return to higher education for the sole purpose of teaching folks how to look at a sign on the side of a construction site
Fact: Mateo recently cut his leg taking out the garbage
Fiction: Mateo wrestled an animal with sharp teeth
Fact: Crocodile Bar and Cabanas remains standing
Fiction: Crocodile Bar and Cabanas was scheduled to be torn down at the end of January
Fact: Crocodile Bar maintains a 4.8 out of 5 stars rating on Google Maps
Fiction: Crocodile Bar has a limited menu

FINAL CHANCES TO ROCK
Chava has only three shows left! He performs Tuesday, March 5 (today, if you’re reading this March 5) and his final show will be March 19. Eduardo plays March 6 and has his final show March 13. Michel will be off March 7, but returns March 14.

STANDARD MUSIC SCHEDULE
5:15 p.m.-7:15 p.m.
Monday: Lynn and Billy
Tuesday: Chava! There are still good seats available for Tuesday, March 5
Wednesday: Eduardo
Thursday: Michel
Friday: Rick and Paul
Saturday: Christine and friends

CROCODILE BAR HAS FOOD SERVICE AT NOON
Monday-Saturday, 12 p.m-8 p.m. Please join us for lunch as well!
Kitchen opens at noon and remains open until 7:30 p.m.
On Sundays, our cafe friends present “Bar Calcetin”

RESERVATIONS
For Tuesdays, the latest one may make a reservation is 5:15 p.m.
Other than Tuesdays and Fridays, if one arrives by 6 p.m., there should be plenty of great seats available.
Reservations only allowed six days in advance of the event.

MORE AWARD-WINNING HUMOR
To make a reservation:
*Send Mateo a text using WhatsApp
*Call Mateo, but not using WhatsApp
*Stop by the bar–during bar hours–and ask for Mateo, Cristal or Belen. Pro tip: The bar is not open before noon. Before noon, you might want to try to find Mateo picking up rocks as he wonders how the Four Seasons hasn’t removed the Oxxo sign yet.
* Pretend Mateo started Mensa International as a trick to tease supposedly intelligent folks who don’t realize Spanish ranks fourth on the planet in the number of speakers. Or just go bang your head against some rocks and hope your reservation ends up in Mateo’s WhatsApp list.

Mateo
3328179527, Mexican cell and WhatsApp