There are deer ticks in Orland, beware of the grass—
Lyme lurks in Lombard with each step you pass.
In Palatine, sunbeams are plotting your doom,
With UV so high, you could glow in a room.

Mosquitoes in Channahon? Close all the parks!
Shut down the rivers! Put out all the sparks!
No tournaments, no games, no fields or fun,
Until the CDC confirms that risks are all done.

So let’s stay inside, with bubble wrap suits,
Avoiding all nature, and certainly roots.
Because here in the ‘burbs, there’s danger galore—
Best barricade every window and secure every door!