I'm rather afraid that times running out for me though its premonition rather than a medical evaluation. I've noticed that my memory's failing, I cannot recall simple facts like the name of my brand of shoes (crocs) or even words like 'intuition' which was what I meant , not premonition.

I'm being bombarded with family deaths and dodgy states of health with same. My ex-wife died a few weeks back and Tammys ex partner before that and my eldest and only surviving son is frankly being so erratic that I worry he may top himself despite my and Tams constantly telling him we love and support him.

Jason has always been a worry. He was born premature at 6 months and was always behind in the abilities stakes but unfortunately he's not only gay but also frankly a glib liar who has made up a fictional fantasy life, for example he calls himself a Bishop (complete with robes!) and has always heavily relied on his ability to exist with a variety of men by telling them stories to gain sympathy such as that his entire family was dead.

I've kept my mouth shut about the state of my own health/well being but they're not going to replace my knees and thats after two seperate surgeons said 'NO!" though neither offers an explanation.

I can barely stand or walk now except for the loud clicks from bone on bone and the pain deters me from exarcising so my muscles have atrophied in legs and arms because this rheumatoid arthritis has attacked all my other joints too and thats despite some pretty advanced and expensive meds like Enbrel which would cost me $100,000 if I had to pay for it.


Which means I'm a prisoner in this bed and the mental exercise I get is YouTube and the bloody awful news about Trumps fascist America and its terrible ramifications. So my mental equilibrium is constantly under attack though I manage to remain pretty cheerful despite that.

Anyway I thought an update was in order if only to explain my infrequent visits here. I'm grateful to the rest of you for keeping the home fires burning