Q: why do I automatically disregard my 'stuff'? Why do I stuff my uncomfortable thoughts and feelings?

I'm not not sure if empathy came naturally or it was something I learned at some point. But I know I have empathy. And I use it against myself.

I rarely received an empathetic ear. I was usually met with
"Don't be a baby!"
"That didn't hurt!"
"That's not as bad as ..."
"I had worse"

blah blah blah
Kind of like 'you can't have the spotlight right now.' I was insignificant in every way.

I just learned to suppress most things because I would be dismissed.
I was on my own in many ways growing up.
It persists as an adult because human nature usually drives us to familiar patterns and people.

I don't have anyone in my life right now that comes to mind as someone I could trust with an empathetic ear. My family loves gossip or is easily manipulated by gossipers.

Maybe one friend. And my first thought always is 'I don't want to bother him with my BS it's no big deal. Nobody wants to hear this stuff.'

So I keep it to myself.

That's why I often preface my sharing difficulties with a self-deprecating and diminishing statement.