Evelyn stood up, took her lunch, and went to sit with Emily, announcing loudly that she very much liked Emily (who sat near her in class) and said that they were friends. Three years later, they are still best friends. Now, Evelyn and Emily are two of the most liked kids in 2nd grade along with being amonst the smartest too. Both of them dont suffer bullies. Nor do their classmates. Learning early makes a difference! Asking and listening to our children does too!
on January 23, 2026, 5:06 pm, in reply to "I dug at preventing a "Columbine," or "Uvalde." Not mitigating them."
I think that the majority of teens only go along with or remain silent when bullies target others out of FEAR and a lack of self-confidence. Most feel badly but don't take a stand for that reason.
My children's schools in MA during their primary years emphasized anti-bullying programs modeled after anti-Columbine literature, but all my kids were bullied to a degree, but we'd armed them with self-confidence, kindness, and forgiveness.
Once, my Jaimelynn responded to the bully by offering sympathy for whatever demons in his life made him strike out at others who couldnt fight back. She began telling her classmates that Bradley obviously had trouble at home (which it turned out that he did) and to be nice to him, say hi, treat him like a friend, and just walk away when he'd strike out at someone so he'd get the message that being nice gave him friends, being a jerk made them walk away.
Eventually, he told Jaimelynn that he was being sexually abused by his father. She told us and we told the school. Police were involved and sure enough, the father was molesting all of them.
Later on, in high school, after we'd moved to NH, she witnessed a boy being bullied by a bunch of kids, with the ring leader being much stronger and bigger than the others. She confronted him and told him he was a jerk for that and shamed the others who stood by adding to it or saying nothing.
She was much smaller, quite pretty, VERY popular and the bully couldnt silence her, especially when several kids got behind her and agreed with her, making it clear that they didnt like the bulkying either. The boy stormed off. It happened more times with the same reactions so eventually the boy stopped bullying in school anyway.
We have no idea why he was doing it aince she never connected with him, but it seemed that he was bigger than the rest but ashamed that he couldn't read very well and appeared to be dyslexic. (He got help with that and a lot changed with him).
Jaimelynn passed those teachings on to her 2 daughters, Evelyn and Alana. Evelyn is the tiniest little beauty and quite smart. She doesn't like bullies either. In kindergarten at lunch the first week, she saw kids teasing one girl who wore worn clothes and "wasn't cool". They made her sit alone to eat, jeering that no one liked her or ever would. Of course she cried alone at her table.
My point?
1- Early teaching of our children about kindness towards others MATTERS!
2- Watching for signs of bullying in school and after school to be able to intervene and help BOTH the bully and the victim MATTERS.
3- Anti-bullying programs MATTER.
Situations like that always involve victims and their tormentors. Children are not born MEAN even as they are born self-centered (for survival reasons). They learn it from somewhere. There are a multitude of reasons behind why someone bullies others so nothing can be assumed. It takes involved, caring teachers and parents who look for the signs and get involved quickly to stop it and help the children involved. If not because they "truly care", then to stop another Columbine, Uvalde, Sandy Hook, and so on. All involved hurting kids who struck out from their own pain to destroy other people's lives.
